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I wonder

if you were with me 

standing in the salt spray 

on the beach where we were wed....

one year after you died. 

I wonder

if you were with me 

crying over the caskets 

of my great aunt and uncle, 

gone one year apart, 

two and three years after you died. 

I wonder

if you were with me 

watching Randy's games 

watching him sleep when he was sick 

watching him grow and grow and grow 

in the years since you died. 

I wonder

if you were with me 

the sleepless nights

the lonely days 

the anniversaries alone 

the birthdays 

the holidays 

all of those occasions 

that were so much happier

before you died. 

I wonder

if you were with me 

when I accepted my diploma

when I got the job 

when Nick came home 

all of those happy occasions

that would be so much MORE 

if you hadn't died. 

if you were with me.....

9.28.14

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