A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
It has been 15 months since my spouse left this earthly place. I keep thinking that by now I should begin to notice the joys in my life and begin to find happiness again. Why is this not happening? I know intellectually that I was blessed to have the 16 years I had with him, and I should be blessed and excited for the arrival of my new grandson in October. I have a small family and they are supportive and my in-law families are awesome. My spouse did not leave me with a mess of financial insecurity. I have everything to be thankful for, yet I continue feeling sadness and loneliness. No matter what I do or think, there is always this black cloud swirling above me.
I always told him we fit together so well… like salt and pepper, biscuits and gravy, peanut butter and jelly and Randy and Becky. I miss each of us finishing a sentence for the other one. I miss wanting to go out to eat and him asking me where I want to go and we both answer the same place at the same time. We were one and part of me is gone. Will I ever feel whole again? Will I ever feel complete? Will I ever know joy again? Will I ever get over being lonely? How does one turn around their thinking? How does one look at the glass as half full again?