A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
I am not feeling like Widowed village is a safe place for me right now. I should be in bed, but, I feel like I have to say this so that I can sleep tonight. I posted a blog earlier today because I was shocked and confused about a friend that I've know for almost 30 years who is engaged just 3 months after her husband's death. They were married for more than 40 years and I KNOW she has not even touched the surface of her grief. I know this because I have common sense and nobody recovers from a great loss of anybody or anything in a matter of weeks. But, I was attacked for my post and criticized because people don't really know me here and they don't know my intentions or my heart. I think I've heard and read many things in the months that I've been here and I didn't agree with everything I read, but I agree with everyone's right to post how they feel about any subject because this is a journey and we are not on an island. If I didn't agree with a post, I never criticized the person who posted it. It was their thoughts - who am I to tell them what to think about anything. Yet, that's what happened to me tonight. I usually don't open myself up to strangers, but I took a chance because I was so glad to find a place where everyone at least understood what it meant to lose someone you are committed to and loved and lost. I know that there are people here who come from all walks of life, some who were married and some not, and some with life partners and some religious and some with no religion at all; and all races, males and females. That is why I felt it could be a safe place because we live in America and we are all going through the same thing. Now, I don't feel like it is safe for me anymore.
Am I being sensitive - yes, I am always sensitive when I am misjudged and especially by someone who wouldn't even be able to tell you my favorite color, my favorite food, my mother's name, who my first boyfriend was and what my dreams and wishes are for my life.
After Walter died it was so hard for me to be able to express myself to even my closest friends because they had not experienced what I had and they kept saying the wrong thing. But, unfortunately, we all here have experienced the same thing, we lost someone dear to us.
How any of you want to handle your business I have nothing to say about, but when someone that I know and have cared about for 30 years acts out of character for herself, YES I am concerned, yes I am hurt, and yes, I need to be able to express that so that I can decide what I should do. And, I am NOT someone who will hug her and talk about her behind her back. I never mentioned her name here and I haven't called anyone to tell them - I don't have to, she's telling everybody herself. I was just the last to know. And yes, I WILL hug her when I see her because one day she may need a friend like I did many months ago when I joined Widowed Village.
Peace to you all on your journeys.