It feels like the accident never happened. It feels like you are just gone away and will be coming back to me. My mind knows that you died that night but my heart has not received the message. I can barely remember you at times and it's these times I am numb but safe... safe until I'll be doing something that will conjure up a memory of you and then I fall apart all over again. I cannot believe you are gone for good. Nothing makes sense. I never saw this coming. Even if I had how could I ever prepare myself?
I said to you once that I would kill myself if anything ever happened to you...well I'm still here. I think I've passed the point of that being a possibility. I wonder what you would think about all this? You being killed by a drunk driver. You, who exercised everyday, ate healthy, and was in the best shape possible for a 40 year old man. All of that work to keep yourself in good shape for a long life...all for nothing.