A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
Yesterday I awoke to an empty house; I slept in a little and felt really good. Glancing over at my computer I had the urge to play World of Warcraft, a massive multi-player role playing game my dear John and I played often. I hadn't played in four months...since he died. Granted I played all of 10 minutes once but I just couldn't do it. Today felt different. After upgrading to the expansion, I entered the world John and I adored--this time it was different. New additions, areas, characters. In a way I was grateful--if it were totally the same I didn't think I would be able to do it.
I reached the character listing and realize that I had room to create one more; with that in mind I created a new toon--from the new race just introduced--and gave her a "feminine version" of the name my husband used all the time. "This one's for us, hon."
I will admit there were times I wanted to look over and ask John for help...but he was not physically there. I briefly felt lost., but I put on my big girl panties and found on my own how to deal with it. Once I realized that, I played...and was happy and excited! For me and for John I vowed that I would take this character to the top. Hell, I'm curious to see where this is going.
During it all I thought I was making too big of a deal, this was only a game, right? But I learned something. Though it is a game, it isn't JUST a game. This game is teaching me, in its way, that I now have to work on my own to get what I want. Just like life. He may not be here physically but he is with me spiritually, in my heart--in this game and in real life. I will enjoy the game as I will enjoy my new life. He'd want me happy...I will be happy.