A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
It's Just a Game...Isn't it?
Yesterday I awoke to an empty house; I slept in a little and felt really good. Glancing over at my computer I had the urge to play World of Warcraft, a massive multi-player role playing game my dear John and I played often. I hadn't played in four months...since he died. Granted I played all of 10 minutes once but I just couldn't do it. Today felt different. After upgrading to the expansion, I entered the world John and I adored--this time it was different. New additions, areas, characters. In a way I was grateful--if it were totally the same I didn't think I would be able to do it.
I reached the character listing and realize that I had room to create one more; with that in mind I created a new toon--from the new race just introduced--and gave her a "feminine version" of the name my husband used all the time. "This one's for us, hon."
I will admit there were times I wanted to look over and ask John for help...but he was not physically there. I briefly felt lost., but I put on my big girl panties and found on my own how to deal with it. Once I realized that, I played...and was happy and excited! For me and for John I vowed that I would take this character to the top. Hell, I'm curious to see where this is going.
During it all I thought I was making too big of a deal, this was only a game, right? But I learned something. Though it is a game, it isn't JUST a game. This game is teaching me, in its way, that I now have to work on my own to get what I want. Just like life. He may not be here physically but he is with me spiritually, in my heart--in this game and in real life. I will enjoy the game as I will enjoy my new life. He'd want me happy...I will be happy.
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Comment by carolynne on October 22, 2012 at 1:16pm -
(((Emy)))I'm so proud of how far you've come in the last 4 months. I've seen a lot of change in you and have a great deal of respect for you. Sending lots of love and virtual hugs. Wish I could give you a real one, I miss you!
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Comment by Lisa ( Marielee) on October 22, 2012 at 12:12am
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Emy - good for you . That is another step in the right direction when we look inisde of ourselves and find pleasure in those things we shared with our hubby's. It brings them just a little bit closer to us.Keep on playing girl- Blessings - Lisa
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Comment by Suz on October 21, 2012 at 11:07pm -
Right on, Em. I know he would want you to be happy. Another step, girl.
Good job!
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Comment by Joyce on October 21, 2012 at 9:01pm -
Emy, you should be proud of yourself, you're right its not just a game, you're learning a lot in the game and in life. Thanks for sharing this.
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Comment by Lori on October 21, 2012 at 3:45pm -
Emy, my husband was a big gamer, i didn't learn to play. The the weeks before he died he played the games in his head... a lot, never knew who he was going to be or who i would be lol, once he was an italian priest the next day superman and i was his lois lane. good memories now. Enjoy. Happy is good
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Comment by bj628(Bonnie) on October 21, 2012 at 2:44pm -
(((((((((Emy)))))))))) I'm so very proud of you too. What a wonderful insight by playing the game and enjoying it.
The things we do, now alone, is a accomplishment, we are growing and like Ali said regaining our confidence.
Yes our partners want us to be Happy and to move forward. Way to Go
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Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on October 21, 2012 at 1:56pm -
Good for you Emy. Yes, doing things on our own again is scary and it is a big deal. Each little thing we do to face our fear and loss, will give us a little more confidence to keep moving forward.
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Comment by janet on October 21, 2012 at 1:07pm -
What wonderful insight, Emy. You have grown and come a long way. I am so proud of you and where you are today. Sending hugs and warm thoughts your way.
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Comment by Dianne in Nevada on October 21, 2012 at 12:29pm -
Oh Emy ... you have grown so in these few months. I'm just so proud of you and the revelations you keep experiencing. Yes, he wants you to be happy ♥
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