This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I got a sixty dollar bill from my car insurance. I couldn't figure out why; I thought I had paid the balance, and canceled the policy on the second car when I sold it. Then I looked at he bill. This charge was because I no longer get a  multi-car discount. It's not the money. It's knowing that what once was a duo is now solo.


My husband's brother insisted on having remote start installed in my car, a very nice gesture. I don't have a garage. This way my daughter will always get into a nice warm (or cool) car. But when I looked down at my keys, I realized there are two fobs for the remote. I don't need two. I'll never need two of a lot of things again.


My husband always wore two t shirts, a white one, and one with something printed on it. He always took them off together, and I always had to separate them when doing laundry. It drove me nuts. The other day it hit me. I'm never going to do that again.


Last night I took my daughter to the ER for a fever. I wasn't really worried, the fever wasn't that high, but it's been sticking around and is the first time she's really had one that wasn't related to getting shots. So I took her.  But being in an ER was hard. The last time I was in an ER was the last time I spoke to my husband in person. And teh last time I was in that  ER I was pregnant with my daughter, and bleeding. I was scared. But my husband was with me. Telling me it would be okay. The triage nurse asked if my whole house was sick. I said, "It's just us."


"It's just us."


That's our family now. No dad to hand her over to when I'm exhausted. To make her laugh when she's tired of me. My sister came with me to the ER. But it's not the same. Nothing will ever be the same again.

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Comment by Beinthemoment on March 16, 2013 at 11:27pm
" The last time I was in an ER was the last time I spoke to my husband in person." The same is true for me and I can't help but think that that somehow adds to the ache of his absence. I just looked at my bank account and saw a charge that wouldn't be there if Brad were alive; it was like a paper cut to the soul. Thank you for writing this post. Reading it made me feel a little less alone.
Comment by Daisy on February 26, 2013 at 2:23am
Hi MrsD, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can totally relate to what you wrote. It's those little things that are so painful, cruelly reminding you of what you have lost. For me it's been 14 months and I still have such a hard time going from "we" to "I". Life as a widow really sucks. But I guess we have to deal with it the best we can and somehow keep going, one day at a time. Sending strength and hugs your way.

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