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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I just don't want to do anything.  I don't want to, throw anything out, nothing.  I'm numb and guide-less; I know I'm suppose to hustle if I want to be out of here by September 25th but I just don't care.  Chalk it up to loneliness as looking at all the things I have to throw out or pack bring back memories.  This place is torture, the memories encompassing me, and here I am trying to keep my head above it all.  

A relative came back from her trip and noticed my posts...she wants to know the whole story and wants to see me.  She's in shock but she'll be in even more when I tell her the reason for my flight.  

How do I get motivated to continue?  There is no option to do nothing, I must leave...

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Comment by judy on August 31, 2012 at 7:46pm

Emy you have come so far on this journey and you will make it to Florida.  This is a rollercoaster ride you are on.  Put things in piles of Must Have, Might Keep and Donate or Give Away or Sell.  Maybe that might help you.

Is anyone going to come to your house to help you with this hard task?   Just don't know what I would do - and I know there will come a day when I will have to make that choice and decision.

Comment by MsKris12 on August 31, 2012 at 12:49pm

I have discovered on my own journey, that we all have TOO much stuff!!!  Just to much!  And for what?  To keep passing from generation to generation?  Eventually, our "stuff" will end up in the hands of someone who does not appreciate it's sentimental value anyway and it will get donated, sold or tossed.    I was debating on putting in a pool or a garage at my house.  Asked my uncle for some direction as to which would be better.  His response: In a few years, your garage will be filled with crap you don't need, put in a pool so we may all enjoy it (I have done neither) but he made his point.  Honey, it is just stuff.  Memories in your heart are what count.  Take what you NEED and a few special items for reflection.  As hard as it is to consider, our spouses left this earth with nothing and that is how we will leave too.  Just our souls filled to the brim with our life experiences.   As Susan J. said, put your big girl panties on, Susan B. said to play some music,  then set your mind to it and plow ahead. You are STRONG, BRAVE, BEAUTIFUL and SMART.  You can do this, You will do this and You have all of us at WV sending support, prayers, hugs and love. 

Blessings

Kris

Comment by Susan B on August 31, 2012 at 11:19am

its a big hump to get over, but once you start it's mostly level or downhill. It may open up a whole new area for you, where you can ponder, think, digest, decide...It will take time, so best get started. Try the old TIMER TRICK. Put on your favorite dancin music. Set a kitchen timer or alarm clock for 45 minutes. Get started after organizing boxes, trash bags, etc. The go until the dinger. Not so bad? try another 45? then rest 10 or 15 min for  potty break, sandwich, and go till you run out of steam. If you can enlist a friend or neighbor to help (mostly for moral support) then better. If not, you have us behind you!. Try to disperse the giveaways as you go. It will give you a tremendous feeling of moving ahead. Don't try to do it it one day or one weekend. Tain't possible. 

Let us know how it's going...

(((hugs)))

Comment by rodsgurl09 on August 31, 2012 at 10:25am

(((Emy))) hang in there. I went through the same emotions when I moved last month of not wanting to get rid of anything, not wanting to even MOVE anything from its rightful spot, not wanting to leave whatsoever. I don't know what you're running from but I know that you will make it and I am here if you need to talk. Just PM me and I will give you my number. Sending hugs and prayers and lots of love.

Comment by Susan J on August 31, 2012 at 10:04am

You will be fine. Get out the God damned big girl panties once again. (I HATE those damned things, lol) You can do this because you are strong, wonderful and amazing. You can do this because you will be protecting yourself. You can do this because you have all of us in your corner encouraging you. GO EMY! 

Comment by bj628(Bonnie) on August 31, 2012 at 7:50am

Emy take photos of things you want to remember, but can't take with you. Make a memory album of the photos..
I understand motivation is fleeting, but sometimes we have to push hard to do what has to be done. ((((((((((hugs))))))))))

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