Just wondering if anyone else has gone through this. The loss of joy. Since my wife passed, the joy of life has left with here. I don't mean feeling lonely or the loss of love. We all face that. It seem to be the biggest part of grief. What I mean is the lack of caring....about anything. I never realized the amount of joy my wife put out. Cleaning, cooking and decorating. Always with a smile, know matter how hard it was she made it seem effortless. Some people can project a arora and some cant. Most days it takes everything I've jot to get out of bed and face the day. The drive is gone from me. I can't find a spark of joy. After countless therapy sessions I still can't find a sliver of joy. I explained it to my therapist this way " It's like someone put a chain on me that wont allow me to do anything" No matter how I try the results are the same. This part is the worse for me. I don't like grief, no one dose buy I can except all that it brings and learn to live with it, Face it for what it is. With out joy life is just hard. The little things like feed the birds or seeing a new fallen snow being hit by sunshine. A blue sky with white clouds. The things that make me, me. The things that made my wife fall in love with me. I no that my life is different now then what it was but I'm still me. I may live the rest of my life without love or a partner. That doesn't bother me but to think that I'll never find the joy of a spring day or the smell of blooming flowers in the air, that little bit of joy. Laughing without it being fake. that's hard. I hate being a hollow shell. I no that the loss of a spouse is devastating but losing yourself is hard also. We all write of one side of this journey. Here's a side I don't hear much about.