Almost three weeks ago I lost a man whom has been important in my life. He was the man I went out with in 2016.We had an argument and didn't see each other for some months but we moved in the same circles so decided that a cup of coffee in the shopping centre was okay maybe once a week. From there we built a strong friendship, resumed a meet up once a month at a couple of markets and generally supported each other. For that reason I have visited the hospital and helped his family work through the last twelve weeks of his life. It was hard to do but that is what you do for a good friend.
On the day of Lyn's funeral a woman who has been my best friend since the age of seven died. We were inseperable through our school days though less frequently throughout the early marriage and child raising years as we lived hundred of miles apart. Jean and I have always had a very strong friendship, phoning each other and writing letters when we were too far apart to visit. She was the godmother to my elder son who shared a birthday with her younger son. She died 48 hours after a brain bleed when the machinery supporting her was turned off. She was my best friend and I never got to say goodbye.
I am devastated at losing two good friends so close together. I know at 71 not all of my friends will outlive me but I hope a few do as good friends are so hard to find. All I can do now is keep on with the daily routine, keep close to my small circle of friends, continuing to do the things I do each week But like the period after Ray's death there is that foggy feeling back again. I know this is not the same as losing Ray but it is still affecting how I think and what I want to do. Today was the Lions Club fundraising BBQ at one of our homeware stores and I didn't really want to be there. I did manage to stay on till the end of my shift but it was a real effort.
My daughter will take me to the funeral as it is quite a way from here so I will get to see her children too. I have just seen the others. I had Trevor and Alice here for a week and during that timeframe had a lunch out with Pam and the kids and had a dinner with them on another night at their apartment. It is good to see the cousins together. Hopefully when I am gone they will remember the good times they had here. Alice aged six and Alex aged twelve are both fond of computer games and finally found a game they could play together. They are both very competitive so in the end we declared it a draw. It is good for the boys to play with their small girl cousin, it brings out the gentler side of their nature.
We have just had a few days of rain so the gardens are looking much better. Trevor moved some of my heavier concrete pots so I could weed them and fertilise them. For now the gardens look a bit dedraggled but I am sure will have more blooms over all once the rain soaks in. It is late Spring and the night temperature is still low. On the 13th October 1971, the day my older son was born, it was a hot 39 degrees and this year we will be lucky if it is more than 25 degrees. The rain as usual was heavier on the coast than inland so this does not mean the drought is broken. Which means our Lions Club will still donate money to the Drought Appeal.
I find myself thinking back over the years now, something old people do. I will miss Jean greatly for many reasons. One is that she was the only one who called me by my high school nickname "Dusty" which she shortened to "Duss". She and I shared so much history. As a late extra after three boys she was a lonely child so her parents used to take me with them has her companion. This led to a lot of adventures causing her father to name us " the terrible twins" and in truth it does feel like I have lost a twin. In losing Lyn I have lost a generous and amusing companion. Towards the end of his twelve week time in hospital he didn't speak a lot but one afternoon waking from sleep he looked at me and said: " beautiful". I know I will never have people in my life who can replace those two.