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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I met my late husband 4 years ago, we were inseperable, he was/ is my best friend. He knew every story, every heartbreak, and every scar. I have never felt so lost in my life I feel like since he left this earth I have lost everything. I was unable to afford our home so had to sell it, now live with friends until I can get back on my feet, I failed out of RN school because I was dealing with everything. Most days I don't know why I even get out of bed.

As our anniversary apporachs and with the anniversary of his passing just around the cornor as well I feel the heartbreak all over again it has been so hard here without him. My Husband and I married on June 1st 2013, we were never so happy, on June 6th, 2013 he went for a run after work with our dog Josie. When I got home our dog was in her kennel and I had a weird feeling but ignored it. A few minutes later my neighbors/friends of ours pulled into my driveway to tell me LJ had been taken to the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital the state police and the hospital staff were standing there and I knew my life would never be the same.

My husband was found on our road with our dog still attached, he was unresponsive and passed that afternoon due to a heart dysrythmia at 29 years old, what should have been the best week of my life turned to the worst. After only 5 days of marriage I became a widow, one can never prepare themselves for this type of loss. Instead of picking out curtains I was picking out coffins and burial sites, how am I ever going be ok again. We didn't even get a chance.....

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Comment by icecream on June 17, 2014 at 7:20pm

I am so sorry for your loss.....of everything. There are no other words. Hugs to you.

Comment by Hornet (Cindy) on May 29, 2014 at 2:51pm

Dearest cjh0588...what an awesome blow this is. And I am so very sorry to hear it. laurajay is right...try to eat, try to sleep. The only thing I can add is to cling to your real, true friends. These are the times when you find out who they really are. And you don't need many...its surprising how one or two good souls can carry you for long long distances. I'll be praying for your peace and strength.

Comment by laurajay on May 29, 2014 at 6:46am

dear cjh.  There is no answer.  You are too young to have had this loss happen the way it did when it did.  Of course you feel lost.  You are lost  and you have lost what you loved most.  There is no fairness and no justice. Grieve.  Just grieve for now.  Feel your pain.  Tell your story however short it is.  Come here to share.  Share with family and friends and spend time with them just for company.  If they preach, ask them  not to for now...you just want them there with you for comfort.  Later you will listen.   Talk with someone where you worship or if you do not belong to a place of worship--go to one anyway and ask if you might talk with clergy for relief.  Most will help.   Look up books on grief to help you from thinking you'll go crazy with this loss.  You will not.  Feeling like you've lost your mind is common  among widows...we've all been there.

Now the hard part.  For now , you must be  your own best friend by eating nutritiously for physical strength so your grief does not make you sick.  Grief is horrible  but grief with sickness is worse.  You must get real sleep although you are probably thinking you will never sleep peacefully again.  Try.   Rest when you can and know that anniversary dates bringing intense feelings of dread are common and even expected to a point.  Walk through those days.  The 24 hrs will pass.  Everyone here will tell you the same thing.  It takes time.  more time than you'd expect.  Much more.  And truthfully  there is no timetable for grieve.  There is no expected time to get over this pain.  We do not get over it but it does change  given time,. No two people experience this the same way.  Some need months, some a year or two,  some more years than that and some never really completely deal with all their grief in their lifetime. It's OK.  Some find counseling is very helpful.  You can consider it for sure if you feel hopeless and unable to sort through your feelings alone.  Try for a local support group. You are young enough to be able to get out and meet other widows.   Read the blogs and suggestions so many at WV offer here.  God be with you on your journey.  You are not alone.  laurajay

Comment by Hanh on May 29, 2014 at 6:45am
I am so sorry for ur loss Cjh0588. It's horrible you lost ur husband after only 5 days of marriage. He was at such a young age too. I hope you can find support here... I married to my husband on July 28, 2013. He died after 7 months of marriage due to accident. I lost everything too. No where to live, no job, no husband, no feelings. It's horrible this journey. Hugs to you xo

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