So, here I am 1 year and 6 days since I lost my husband. I met him online 17 years ago and he lived in NYC and I lived in Canada. After a year of long distant dating, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes and moved my son and myself to NYC. We soon moved from there to New Jersey where I still live today. I feel completely lost because I did not grow up in this country and my family is in Canada. Oh yes, I get along with his family, but I find lately they have been excluding me from family get togethers; maybe it's because they know I have to have my son drive me to the places far away and he works a lot, but you know, just the not being asked hurts more than anything. I find out on Facebook that they have all gone somewhere together and they are posting pictures of all the fun they are having and all I can think of is if my husband was here we would be there too. I hate being a widow and I don't want to be anymore, I just want my husband back.