Medical Records?

Comment

Comment by NikkiPea on August 24, 2012 at 2:38pm

Thanks everyone. I've definitely thought about it, and while I do want to get his med records for certain reasons, I don't think I'm going to. You guys are right with the "de-personalizing" of the patient. We got all of his clinic reports every clinic visit, and it's always "the patient" not "Spencer". I didn't even think of that. In those reports he's just a number... a patient. It was just one of those thoughts for 'closure' but I don't think it'd give me that. It would probably just lead to many more questions and I could see myself getting angry and coming up with MANY more questions than answers. There were several times during his hospitalization where I questioned their decisions and argued with them about several things... seeing these things I disagreed with in a report would probably bring up unnecessary feelings again. 

If I do decide to do anything, which I doubt I will at all, I will just contact his clinic and see if it's possible to speak with his doctor or the clinic nurse. I have one of his doctors on facebook and he posted a status about how he was thinking about a lot of the CF patients, past and present. Dead and alive and how thankful he was to see the other side of his patients. The side where they aren't so sick and they are out living his life. He commented that it really opened up his eyes to the REAL life that they live. Many people commented on the status telling him thank you for caring so much etc. And so I did the same. It felt appropriate. I related it to Spencer's last 3 months. I wasn't really expecting a reply, but the next day he responded to what I said and told me that even though it might seem strange he still thinks about Spencer quite a bit. This meant a lot to me and if I had the time I'd type out the whole story of why it meant a lot to me (there is a lot behind it lol) but I'll just leave it as that. I'm pretty sure that if I really needed to talk to the CF team about anything that took place, I'd be given the chance at least for a brief meeting with them. 

I am also still friends with several CFers in the clinic, best friends with 2 of them, and as they continue to go in and out of the hospital for exacerbations and when I visit, I get to see the staff and the doctors sometimes. If I ever needed to speak to them, I have no doubt they'd take the time to talk with me.

Anyway.. :) Thank you ALL for your responses and helping me realize these things! :)

Comment by bj628(Bonnie) on August 16, 2012 at 4:53pm

When I lost my first husband, I went through the guilt.. and what if's.. Please know, you and I am sure the Dr's did all they could. Yes reports are sort of "de-personalized" patient.. instead of a name. Writing clinical reports and details.. are not compassionate.. They deal only with the procedures, outcomes.
Many Dr's I have worked with, are compassionate, and have emotions. They are there to do the best they can, if they became emotionally attached.. they would go crazy.

The what if's... please don't do that..   Know you did all you could and you loved with all your heart

((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))

Comment by CharliesGirl on August 16, 2012 at 2:51pm

Charlie spent the last month of his life in the ICU on a ventilator. In the end I had to make the most terrible decision of my life and have him taken off life support. He died 28 hours later with me holding on to him and telling him how much I loved him.

I had a lot of guilt to deal with. I couldn't come to terms with why he died. Finally, I asked his two main pulmonologists to meet with me. I'll still never completely come to terms with it, but they clarified some things for me.

I thought I was satisfied. Lately, doubts are coming again and I question if I should get his records. I've come to the conclusion (since I have no interest in lawsuits or anything either) that they would just cause me more pain. Having and reading them will not give me what I want which is to have Charlie back.

 

Julie

Comment by honeys(puddin) on August 16, 2012 at 7:27am

The cost will depend on the facility that they are at.  Call the medical records department and ask them the cost.  Personally I think it would break my heart to read all they did to my Honey.  I have an attorney looking into a medical malpractice lawsuit.  I hope and pray they don't have a lawsuit to pursue.  I want someone to tell me that there's no case because everyone did everything they were supposed to do.  Good luck in whatever you decide to do:)

Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on August 16, 2012 at 12:51am

Nikkipea, I requested, and received my husbands medical records, only a few weeks after he died. It cost me $80.00 at the hospital (it was a per page rate) to get all the records...nursing notes, doctors orders, admission papers, cds of tests done.  I got mine for legal reasons, however I can understand that you may want them just to gain closure.  I briefly reviewed them, and honestly, I have to tell you that this is a gut-wrenching, absolutely agonizing thing to do. One statement I came across really crushed me. His cardiologist, in her written report of the emergency heart cath that was done, actually said "Goals were achieved".  This sent me into a serious rage. Wtf exactly was the goal then, if not to save my husband's life?  Oh, I see, she performed the "mechanical aspects" of the procedure, but the outcome was not good.  In essence, "the operation was a success, but the patient died".  There were many other things in the reports that made me SO angry. I still have not been able to pull them out again after that..because of the rage that it brings up in me. I think the hardest part, is that the love of your life is simply referred to as "the patient", which really depersonalizes things for them so that they can justify their "clinical" observations.  I don't know that I would recommend it if it isn't a legal issue.  It just brings more pain.