A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
Just some thoughts and maybe I could get some input from the community...
I have been considering this for a couple of months, but never knew if I wanted to go through with it. But have any of you gotten, or considered getting, your husbands medical records?
Part of me wants to see Spencer's med records the last 3 months he was alive. For those who don't know, Spencer had cystic fibrosis and was in ICU those three months. Part of me wonders if it would allow me to truly realize that there was just nothing more that they could do.
If not getting the medical records just getting certain reports from the doctors? i don't know. Usually I do okay with getting myself to remember the conversation we had with the palliative care team and his CF team... that his body was just shutting down and there is nothing they can do... but recently I have just been getting a lot of "What-if" thoughts running through my mind. It's been harder and harder to remember what was said and the reasons given behind WHY we couldn't interveine anymore.
I am also trying to sort my thoughts and gather as much information together as I can for a book that I want to write. And I think having the medical records might really be useful to get the timeline and more details.
I don't want it for any reason other than person. I don't want to sue or find some kind of evidence saying that we could have done more. not at all. I just want it for me.
I wonder how I would go about doing this and just how much it might cost? There are probably hundreds and hundreds of papers there... but I wonder if I could just get the more important things... like chest x-rays and, as I said, reports from doctors. I don't need all the blood work values etc. Hmmmm. Any insight from you guys?