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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Today is one of those days, I woke up and realized I was alone.  I'm not sure why I was shocked about that, my very first thought was to wonder where Jerry went and why he didn't wake me up.  Then it hit me, these thoughts came in such rapid succession that I scarcely had time to blink.  While I was still sitting on the side of my bed I thought,  great, now I've set the tone for my day and haven't even stepped foot onto the floor.  

Hours later, it's rainy and overcast the house is dark and quiet.   As I listen to the music made by the rain softly beating against our metal roof, I recall a conversation with Jerry about how wonderful the sound was and how glad we were to have made the decision to install a metal roof.   Wonderful memories of stormy nights come into mind and the tears roll.  Why?  Is it because I've already told myself today was going to be a melancholy day?  In a word YES.

If you've ever read anything I've written you know, I have utterly rejected the notion that grief deprives us of all joy and happiness.  Of course, it makes it harder to enjoy life without having someone to enjoy it with but it's certainly not impossible.  It's so difficult to search your own soul.  Often it's scary.  I'm of the opinion it's necessary to unravel the twisted mess of your mind when such a life-shattering soul snatching event takes place.  I'm aware there are about as many attitudes towards grief as there are stars in the sky.  My way isn't the only right way. However, for me? Well, I'm doing pretty good.   When I first landed here at WV I was so overwhelmed by my grief; just thinking about those early days makes my heart ache for myself, those before, and those widow's that are still to come.   

Anyway, I've managed to get my day turned around.  I felt compelled to share something today and I feel like I can't say it often enough to the new arrivals or to the seasoned widows living in the state of misery...Please, please reject the lie your heart is telling you.  There is hope.  There is life, there is joy, laughter and good times to be had.  Through the tears and fears, BELIEVE IT!  XO  

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Comment by Rainy (Misty) on August 24, 2018 at 3:48pm

Yep, Life, sometimes I feel like I'm living in an altered universe.  It's unreal the range of emotions I can go through in just 5 mins.  

Comment by Lifeunknown17 on August 22, 2018 at 5:43pm

Yep, well said Misty.  I'm still in a very surreal state. I know my wife is gone, but often, I just believe this is some sort of a cruel joke or something. I'll walk around the corner, and she'll be there.  Nope just me here.  but your right. You should just try to be happy, and to not let the bad thoughts take over.  They will for sure if you let them. I know more than i'd like to about negative thoughts. 

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on August 18, 2018 at 7:21pm

rockon, you're so right!  I love Journey!!! 

Comment by Rockon on August 18, 2018 at 11:17am

Your words are indeed comforting Misty.

Just to add a note from the American Rock Band "Journey".

"Don't Stop Believin'

Hold On to that Feelin' "

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on August 18, 2018 at 10:39am

Thanks, I hope I was able to lift you guys up in some small way.  

Comment by MomOfBoys (Tammi) on August 17, 2018 at 8:15am

It's because you have HOPE...which so many seem to not.

Thank you for that post.

Comment by bayoured on August 17, 2018 at 5:12am

Wonderful post Misty. We shared a few laughs that day if I remember correctly. We will make it day by day. Laughter thru the tears is a good thing. Love ya!

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on August 17, 2018 at 2:25am

Thank you Phyllis, to be honest, I blog a lot of times just so I can re-read my own words so I  won't forget I can feel good about life too!

Comment by Phyllis on August 15, 2018 at 3:48am

 Excellent post. I am six years yesterday in this stage of my life and I can’t say it is a bad life, but it is certainly not what it used to be, of course. When I go out with my friends I enjoy myself, but that feeling doesn’t carry through after I get home.  There is nobody to gossip with.  But  the important thing is that I do get out.  I make every effort to enjoy myself and I do not do dwell on what used to be.  Like everything, you get out of something what you put into it and being a widow does not have to be the end of your life.  It’s just a different life.

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