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Memories of Shane--Our First Date, January 21, 2013

5 months of anticipation builds up to this. The handsome man whose picture looks just a bit like Aragorn from Lord of the Rings, stalking my profile. POF showing me that he’s viewed me 3 times this week, so I check out his profile, and like what I see. I make the first move, and good thing I did, because he’s outside the age parameters I’ve set of who can message me by 2 years. I almost missed out on a good thing.

For months, we learn about each other as we talk on the phone and message on POF, sometimes for hours at a time. My favorite thing to look forward to is the songs he sends me to listen to, almost none of which I’ve heard before. I remember him telling me he might just show up at my door with flowers. Well, that never happened, as he lives an hour away and doesn’t drive, but good to know he’s a romantic at heart.

He also builds up my sense of self-worth again, letting me know I have value, that I am better than the guys I occasionally go on dates with. Why am I wasting my time and shedding tears over guys who don’t get my worth? This is something I learn to really appreciate about Shane. He knew me warts and all, and loved me still.

So, I finally am done with those occasional dates, and it’s just been Shane and I talking for 6 weeks or so. We are ready to meet in person. I make the drive to Lyons, CO, and we meet up at Oskar Blues. When he sees me in person for the first time, I swear he licks his lips. I am who I say I am. He is who he says he is. A quick kiss, and then we are down the stairs, ordering drinks and exploring the arcade. His friend and housemate Corey is there, and soon we decide to move down the street to the Pizza Bar. Over pizza, we talk Montessori, and I manage to insult Shane by assuming he doesn’t know what that is. Damn, Debbie, way to make a bad impression. But as the three of us talk, Shane continues to make eye contact across the table, and I know I’m not imagining the way he is looking at me.

We need more time together, so he and I head back to Corey’s house. The view is spectacular from the deck of the mountain home, and knowing there’s a hot tub, I’ve brought my swimsuit. We sit in the bubbling water and enjoy the view, though I’m sure we were looking as much at each other as the view of the peaks and valleys around us. He has two sharks tattooed on his chest, and I feel so cute in my tankini. I remember curling up against his chest, and kissing a few more times, in awe that this is really happening. I think he knew by that date that we were meant for each other, but I was still figuring it out.

By then it was dark, and I knew it was time for me to get home. That’s where it got awkward. Shane tried to convince me to spend the night! His points were valid, I’d probably not be able to make it down the dirt roads in the dark safely, and I knew he was craving more time with me. But I had a child at home and family who would wonder where I was, and I was not the kind of girl who wanted to make a date into a sleepover! When Corey got back to the house, I convinced him to drive ahead of me down the mountain to the main road so I could follow. I made it home safely that night, and we made it official—we were dating.

I miss you, Shane.

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Comment by Callie2 on January 22, 2017 at 5:13pm
Your story touched me. Though very different from when my husband and I got together, we had that immediate connecting of the souls and within one month, we were engaged and six months later, married. I am sorry you weren't given more time together, life certainly seems unfair sometimes. You will always have those wonderful memories to cherish and there will come a day when you will be less sad when remembering him. It sounds like he was a very caring person, how lucky you were to have found one another. I am sorry for your loss.

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