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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

MEMORIES, they are all we have now.

Now, all we have are our memories.

That's really too bad, especially after all that we shared, and all that we had.

But we have the memories.

And sometimes the memories seem faded and distant and old.


that sucks. 

especially considering that one day I WILL BE old, and he'll always be this young, handsome dude.

but the memories...

we hold on tight to those memories.

************MY CHIT (CRAIG) MEMORY***********

-how the memory came about-why it came to mind: Tonight I was doing laundry... and when Craig was alive, he'd always toss his clothes off in random areas in the house, and I'd eventually pick them up and toss them in the hamper.  When it came to laundry, I never searched the pockets, because that's just an added step that I simply 'don't' have the time for! well Chitty, my sweetie, he'd NEVER empty out his pockets, and I'd end up washing all sorts of things. -beer caps, kleenix, pens, lighters, lip chap... 


Tonight, I was washing my old winter coat.  I noticed myself search its pockets.  I think I must have eventually picked up that habit, because I find myself doing that now...or maybe I just simply found the time... 

anyhow... I came across a stick of vanilla lip chap ...

heres the memory---

(I'm at work at a small diner in town, and Craig's on his lunch break from his job at the Ethanol Plant in town....he often visits me for his break, even WHEN I pack his lunch...he'd always say "I just love being around you.")


Craig walks in the front door (which makes me rethink this memory, and wonder if it was his day off...because when he's on his lunch break, he would always come through the back door...and of course, with him being dead and all... I cannot hash it over with him)


OKAY. yes... it WAS indeed his day off, because he wasn't wearing his helmet!! (sorry folks)

back to the memory....

Craig walks in the front door of the diner, he smiles at me, I immediately smile back at him-ear to ear-and gesture my body in his direction.  He's walking closer in my direction and we meet in the middle at the sandwich bar.  We touch hands over the counter, and are smiling at one another face-to-face, we begin to talk about something---but this part of the memory is unclear--- I remember it wasn't a long conversation, and he didn't even stay for lunch... I think he may have come in to get the keys or something... but as he was leaving, I was heading back toward my waitress station at the back of the room, and I called out for him to come back... and he did.

We kissed behind the little half wall and I asked him if he wouldn't mind picking me up some lip chap.

He said 'anything for you Smitty' ---or something to that effect. 

He would do anything for me. (and I-him)


It wasn't long, poss 5 minutes and he was back with 2 sticks of vanilla lip chap.

he said "its all they had, I got you two" with a big grin awaiting approval.

I put some on and we kissed again.


I love when memories suddenly come to mind.


Can you guys comment with a random memory of your spouse???


I hate when memories become foggy and faded sometimes...  you can't even confirm if something did or did not happen because the other half of that memory is gone!!! Anyone experience what I am talking about?  I figure a good way to keep the memories alive are by talking about them, writing about them and continue to share, share, share!


Peace and Healing,


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Comment by smit09 on December 19, 2012 at 7:13pm

wonderful to hear all the memories, thanks for sharing!

Comment by hendrixx2 on December 10, 2012 at 7:22am

Hi Smith,

Long time no talk...hope things are going well with you...a random memory...well, I had one as I came across a small jewelry box; it was empty, as I know the girls have the rings, but that particular set of rings had once sat in a pawn shop for a few months...I think the fee was like 50 bucks or so, and at the time I had to wait longer than first thought to redeem them. Altho she didn't say anything, I know DJ was a bit miffed that it was taking me so long; on the day I did get them back, I bought some flowers and went to her job, she worked as an operator in a department store and had a small area; I put the envelope with the rings inside the card among the flowers and gave them to her. I'll never forget the look of surprise on her face when she found them...until i came across that box, i had not thought about that for a long time, i did some laughcrying, but it was a very nice random memory....thanx for the post...wishing you Peace and Healing...

Comment by Suz on December 8, 2012 at 11:27am

Beautiful, stacey. thank you for expressing yourself so well. I had a lovely one in my head and it flew away. My mind is tired and ready for a nap. i hope it will return,

Big hugs to you!


Comment by bj628(Bonnie) on December 7, 2012 at 4:10pm

John was a clothes... strewer too.. so it was a hunt ...beofre laundry..and I pretty much got into the habit of checking his pockets... having washed many things includng his wallet a few times.. sometimes I would come up with cash.. so it got to be a joke .. of how much money I "made" on laundry day.


Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on December 7, 2012 at 2:39pm

Love you Stacey..glad to see your post. Thanks for sharing your memory. I'm tired right now and foggy and fuzzy so I'm gonna sleep on it and post one in the morning.  ((Hugs))

Comment by Lori on December 7, 2012 at 1:35pm

Thanks stacy for helping us keep the memories alive, peace and healing to you as well

Comment by Lori on December 7, 2012 at 1:33pm

my memory was at choir practice wednesday night, we'd been going to choir practices together for 25 years. remembering our dark damp cold drives over the years.  We were singing o Holy night and He for years did it solo the choir did the oohing and had harmony, but he sang the first vs. by himself.  I could hear his voice singing it loud and clear in my head.  I couldn't find my music when i did the 1st vs was over.  We all sing it this year no one will be singing it solo.

Comment by judy on December 7, 2012 at 10:46am

A memory of have of Justin is I was having a really hard time at work – was helping out on a project that the other marketing assistant asked me to help her with while she was out and I was so overwhelmed on this project.
I just texted justin and he came by for lunch and took me to this restaurant and we had such a wonderful lunch – we then went to Starbucks for coffee and he kept telling me that I’m bright and smart and I’ll be ok and we’ll be ok – he hugged and kissed me goodbye and said he would see me for dinner and that he was always so very proud of me. Can still picture watching him drive away and thinking to myself – God I love this man so very much.....
Stacey – what a wonderful idea to share a memory ---- btw ---- Justin always would have different things also in his jeans, shirts including kleenix and sometimes even pills. Let not forget these very valuable memories ......

Comment by jean on December 7, 2012 at 7:57am

Aaaa  Stacey... I can't tell you how many times I wished I could ask him the 'other' side of the story. We take for granted that other half will be there to ask and when they aren't, it sucks.. Thanks for sharing this story. Vanilla flavored lip balm will always make me think of you now. Love and hugs coming your way sweetie

Comment by Blue Snow on December 7, 2012 at 5:59am

That's a sweet, sweet memory Stacy. I can't ever break a pencil point without thinking of a time my husband found me crying over a broken pencil point....PMS day or something like that. He, of course, being a guy thought I really was just crying over a broken pencil and hurried around trying to find the sharper so he could fix my problem and make me happy again. He was so sincere and clueless that it makes me smile just remembering.........

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