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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

             What is my path?  What is my purpose?  I want to know.  Is it best to wait for God or the Universe to tell me? For years, my purpose was helping Wayne.  And that purpose became increasingly important as Wayne was failing...  Almost like a free fall into the abyss of whatever his true purpose was. And I think through Wayne's illness, he and I both learned to be patient and pro-active at the same time.  And to do our best at helping those who needed our help.  

           And prayer. Wayne and I discovered an amazing Rosary Prayer Group, through which we witnessed miracles.. and heartache, but oh what a wild ride.   A few weeks before Wayne died he told me he wanted me to live my life to the fullest.  He actually told me he wanted me to "find someone else..."  I was very surprised. Very.  I told him I envisioned myself devoted to prayer and the Rosary. That was as far as I could imagine. 

          OK, Wayne, I'll think about finding someone else?  And how does one even go about doing this?  I'd rather they find me.  Problem solved. 

So back to my path.  See, I'm avoiding it. I know I have to figure this out. Or do I?  Back and forth. Confusion, inertia, happiness, sadness, questions.

Purpose?  It sounds so trivial to say I enjoy helping people.  Like every job applicant. Trite. Could I have another purpose?  Maybe?  I've already found that some really important life purposes can be quiet distressing.  Do I avoid finding out my true purpose so as to avoid unpleasantness?  

An Interlude.  Maybe God has granted me a stay. A little breathing space before my next great mission is handed to me. Ah, that makes sense.  So, I'll just enjoy this respite. A sabbatical from life's purpose. Recharge the batteries. Maybe every so often try to figure things out. 

Possibilities, prayer, happiness, questions... Peace. 

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Comment by Patience on October 2, 2013 at 5:52pm

Thank-you, Sally. 

Comment by Patience on September 28, 2013 at 2:34pm

Thanks so much Liz. Yes, a cocoon. I feel that way too.

Mac, I agree. There's lots we can't figure out. And yes, inspiration and example.. makes perfect sense.  I appreciate your kindness and wisdom. 

Comment by Mac on September 28, 2013 at 11:57am

Wishing you much peace. purpose and happiness Diane.

I trust in life more than I ever have before. It doesn't mean that I'm passive, I am proactive - but I realize there are many things that I can't force or determine. I think for those of us that can survive and thrive, we do have a heightened ability to help people and even to be more aware of those that we might be able to help. If what others are telling me right now is truthful, even how we are conducting our lives while we are on this "journey" can serve as inspiration and as an example for others. I'm thinking that your life will be good, will be happy and will have purpose.

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