Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

My daughter & her husband lived with me for almost a year.  They have moved 4 hours away for better jobs.   I know they need to make and live their own lives.. My grandson 19. moved in a couple months ago. He works, leaves early around 6 am and home around 6 pm.  As with most 19 yr olds.. he spends most of his time in his room with TV and video games.  I am not alone at night..

Since daughter & sil moved out, Bill moved into that bedroom.  So I will be taking the bedroom he is leaving back to my craft room.  I had 2 dressers in my bedroom, that had John's clothes.. I had cleaned the clothes out. (except for the special items I am keeping ). So today I boxed my yarn that I had stored in the drawers , polished them and moved them to the other side of the house for Bill.  Next week, I plan on going through more in "my room" re-arranging furniture. May even pick up some paint... Maybe a change will help. and I have plenty of "stuff" for Good Will or thrift shop.

Someone here mentioned making a collage.. as I was going through things today, I started a little box of things to make a memory collage.  I also found a photo frame that holds quite a few photos, so will add that to my list of "things to do.

My min pin Molly is blind.. so I did read on line some "tips" and have been working with her with "a starting point" so she has a place to start from to find her dishes.. dog bed. etc. I have also found clapping my haands.. and telling her one word commands "up" to pick her up so she is not startled, down, when I am going to set her down. and staying close outside so I can clap or she can smell me.  I think we will work out learning to live with blindness...
I am no moving furniture in the Family room, and the changes in the bedroom will not be drastic.

I guess these are small steps forward, they do not have to be done quickly, but it is good to have a place to start.

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Comment by Susan J on September 15, 2012 at 3:37pm

Bonnie, We keep taking baby steps. Thank you for the memory bear pattern! My baby step today is to cut the bear out and have it ready to sew. I have the rest of the day free so I have NO excuse. Jon's silk shirt is going to be a stunning bear. I made the shirt of white silk as a birthday gift an d hand dyed it. I simply could not donate it, so here it will be, comforting me for years. Thank you again!

Comment by hendrixx2 on September 15, 2012 at 2:12pm

Hi Bonnie,

Change, ever present in our lives anyway, now has a more pronounced presence in our lives because of the loss. You have my sincere hope that having your grandson with you can help ease that sense of loneliness which can sometimes overwhelm us. Please keep us posted on the progress with the collage, I should be very interesting.  Like Molly, you too are learning to get around in the different life; the placement of people and the thoughts of your loved one within that life being noted and the proper places for them being set and remembered.  We may say ''..take small steps...'', but the fact is, anything we can do to settle events in our minds is monumental stride...Kudos to for understanding so well about your point in this journey, thank you so much for sharing...

  

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