Don't really seem to fit here anymore. I am still looking for counseling to get my head straight and maybe that is the only way it will be. It is just ironic that after I lay out the whole history of what has happened over the last say 10+ years it feels like the therapists don't believe me or are just desensitized. As much as I have tried to reinvent myself, I am still haunted by the past, the decisions I had to make, and all that happened between then and now. The new theory is trauma therapy. I guess I will just wait and see.