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Here I am 2 years later. the First year with this New lady in my life was amazing. then something happened  I do not know what,

she seemed to be Pushing away from me.. locks herself in the bedroom , days , weeks at a time.  My mom came to Visit.  she did  leave the room the entire week my mom was here.  We had a  tree fall into the house.  she was in the room for over a month. apparently came out  while I was at work.

 now she is demanding. does not speak to me.  leaves me Notes with $50 says  Here is this weeks rent money...  I made a huge mistake. I allowed her to have 2 kittens she wanted  back in  the summer.. here we are now Feb 2018 her and the cats have full control of the master bedroom and bathroom. Because I am alergic to  cats..  I am now Living in my studio down in the basement...  I dont know how to throw her  out.. with her tossing me notes saying Renrt, and I keep texting her its not rent. Im afraid I may need to get a lawyer, and have her evicted.. I never knew the term until now. But she is 100% narcisstic.  I dont even want to be in my own house anymore. No Ambition to work, or be here anymore,  its almost 4 years since I lost my wife. and I still have to cry myself to sleep.

I  just Randomly have crying outbursts  and Dont know why..PBA?   I went from Doing over 200  shows a Year to last Year  I had 6.. this year      Next month  will be just 1...   I just dont know what to do next..  so much on my mind.. the voices in my heard Fighting my sanity.    After I get Rid  of  this young lady. I have decided  I will only Date a Widow. and she MUST BE JEWISH..  that is Next to impossible to find in my age range..  Funny how  at WV  events I go to. I am Being hit on By  woman in their 70's  Im  56... my range is 4x4   52-60..  I hate sitting home and Crying my ass off.. not sleeping.  I dont like the word, because I fly... But Depression is on its way of drowning me from being the true me. loving , caring, being silly, and hard working.  I just dont care anymore..I still ask.. Why am I still here...

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Comment by hog659(Neal) on April 26, 2018 at 7:52pm

Its been a while since my last post...of the new lady that did a 180  on me.. total Narscissit... Thankfiuly she will be out of my life by June.. Right now I am dealing with my HELL week.. 4 years since Patricia passed..April 27th 2014... and Our wedding anniversary  on sunday the 29th... the 23rd and 24th   I made it through..  OK the Good News.. I went on a widow/widowers  trip to Vegas  2 weeks ago. Had a BLAST.... made  some New Friends.  I will ONLY date a Widow  is my new Motto... and have found a new Friend 800miles away, But we talk all  night Everynight...I just got off a 3 hour Phone call with her again..   One this other one leaves.. I can  start dating again...  I want to take a trip to Visit her... so with that  I will say good Night... and hope Tomorrow is a better day

Comment by Mary H on February 18, 2018 at 9:09am

Hi Neal, well, stories like yours scare me straight and make me feel a little better about being alone.  I am a 56 year old widow by the way, we are definitely out there.  But I'm not Jewish ;)

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on February 8, 2018 at 7:13am

You can get this worked out.  However dishearting it may be,  nothing has been done that can't be undone.  Hang in there and take one step at a time.  It can be done and you can do it.  You live and learn, when this hurdle is a thing of the past you'll be able to see things more clearly and better know what you want and don't want.  

Comment by Callie2 on February 7, 2018 at 8:17pm

You’ve gotten yourself into a bad situation and if communication has broken down, it’s time for her to go. If it can be done amicably that would be best but you may need the advice of an attorney. I don’t know the details of your arrangement, but it sounds like the notes with the “rent money”is some sort of ploy and if I were you, I would get busy on this right away.

It sounds very much like you are still grieving the loss of your wife. We are all vulnerable during this time and sometimes our judgement can be clouded. I’m wondering if grief counseling would be helpful to you? It might help you sort through and understand your feelings.

You deserve peace of mind inside your own home, don’t allow anyone take that from you. TCB and yourself and give yourself a little more time to heal. You’re going to get through this. It is possible for life to get good again, try and be positive.

Comment by laurajay on February 7, 2018 at 7:10pm

Neal.  Loaded  post.  Cutting  to the chase.  What do you want that is possible?  If you are thinking you want what you had  the first year with your New that even possible?  Your post  appears  to make it sound like she has changed.  If so,  then what do you want if she is not in agreement with you?  You want her to move out?  You need to park your  emotions and settle down to problem  solving. A lawyer  could tell you what to do if you have any kind of a legal document such as a contract, marriage  license, common law papers,  etc.  You  must  consider  the law  first.  If eviction  is the way to solve  her distance from you...that  too you must do lawfully.  Don't go  willy-nilly  with random  thoughts  and threats.  Go for help after you decide what you want.  Depression  might visit  for a spell. No big deal.   You already  know grief.  Expect this  transition  to be painful.  Life  is not  easy breezy it is a continuing  challenge.  Crying is fine  but exhausting  and it makes  you feel helpless and  sick if you do it too often.  Make a plan  and start it. Don't  plan the future  too far  ahead.  Just take back your  home.  Find  some peace .  Maybe  alone for a while.  You  are learning and it's hard.   But first  look at possibilities  and find  someone  professional   who can listen  and  offer,.lawyer   etc.   No one here at WV can  give you the help you need  we can only make suggestions   according  to the website  policy/directions.  You can  do this.  You will survive.  When you begin  to  take charge  you  will feel better  and  your  purpose and  caring  will return.    One  thing at a time . Do it.                             lj

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