I have been posting my thoughts (and talks) to my husband on my blog "My Weird Widow Lyfe". He left me in September, and as of now, my posts are very raw. I hope to share them with family and friends one day. I thought I would share yesterday's post with the group.
- It is day 96, and I am no more at peace than I was at Day 1. I’ve always loved Christmas and particularly the past 32 years, because you were there. You were my eyes to the childish joy of Christmas, with all its wonders and magic! So here I sit, attempting to grasp my feelings and complete the tasks that you and I did together. The annual newsletter, the cards, the tree, the decorating. It all makes my head spin now. I really have no desire to do any of it, as I’m just going through the motions. I finally broke down and got a tree yesterday, justifying that the fur-kids should still have a tree to climb on and torment. A task that we would normally have done in hours took me all day and all of the ornaments are still in the box – waiting. There is a wreath on the front door and garland on the fireplace. This year, that will be the extent of my decorating, as my heart is not into this tradition that we shared. I fear that these will soon be traditions of Christmases Past and I will become the ultimate Scrooge. If I could hide away from all things Christmas for the next 2 weeks, I would.