today is Halloween. I year ago today I retired. Who knew that 10 months later I my husband would die and in an instant I became a widow. We had so many future retirement plans. All gone in that moment with his death. No warning. Heart arrack. Now, so many changes. It’s not like I have a choice. My best friend, and partner of 38 years is gone. Tom was so handy, as a child if he could not figure out how something worked he took it apart. He could fix anything. I was the helper and cleanup person. He never sat still, was an adult ADD. Always busy. I’ve been going through things in the garage. 3 skill saws, 2 sawzall, 2 jack hammers, band saw, 3 impact drivers, 3 hammer drills, 3 regular drills. Etc. you get my delima. Not to mention all the the tools. He was in the electrical business and so many different types of testers I had to look up what they were for. Friends coming for Thanksgiving and he has a ranch so most items I’ll give to him. Tom would be pleased his friend has his stuff. I’m keeping a few items.Like I’m keeping 10 of the 20 different sized needle nose pliers. Like the sawzall. I used the sawzall for the first time on Sunday. First time for any saw period. A lady friend said “YouTube will be your friend.” So I watched a video, found the correct blade and cut up the metal hoop. I put up 2 shelves, had to watch how to put a bit in the drill, but after a few hours the shelves are up, tight to wall and level. I said to him “I hope you are seeing what I’m doing, you could have taught these things before you died.” I hope you are proud. Never, ever did I think I would be doing these things. Oh, what a day. He loved seeing the children in the neighborhood come dressed up for Halloween. I don’t know if I’ll cry handing out candy tonight or not. My birthday is next week, plan to skip it this year, as I have nothing to celebrate. I’m thankful for my close friends who have helped, my grief counselor, my pen pals from soaring spirits and this site widow village where I can put my thoughts and feelings down.
Tomorrow will be another day