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today is Halloween. I year ago today I retired. Who knew that 10 months later I my husband would die and in an instant I became a widow. We had so many future retirement plans. All gone in that moment with his death. No warning. Heart arrack. Now, so many changes. It’s not like I have a choice. My best friend, and partner of 38 years is gone. Tom was so handy, as a child if he could not figure out how something worked he took it apart. He could fix anything. I was the helper and cleanup person. He never sat still, was an adult ADD. Always busy. I’ve been going through things in the garage.  3 skill saws, 2 sawzall, 2 jack hammers, band saw, 3 impact drivers, 3 hammer drills, 3 regular drills. Etc. you get my delima. Not to mention all the the tools. He was in the electrical business and so many different types of testers I had to look up what they were for. Friends coming for Thanksgiving and he has a ranch so most items I’ll give to him. Tom would be pleased his friend has his stuff. I’m keeping a few items.Like I’m keeping 10 of the 20 different sized needle nose pliers.  Like the sawzall. I used the sawzall for the first time on Sunday. First time for any saw period. A lady friend said “YouTube will be your friend.” So I watched a video, found the correct blade and cut up the metal hoop. I put up 2 shelves, had to watch how to put a bit in the drill, but after a few hours the shelves are up, tight to wall and level. I said to him “I hope you are seeing what I’m doing, you could have taught these things before you died.”  I hope you are proud. Never, ever did I think I would be doing these things. Oh, what a day. He loved seeing the children in the neighborhood come dressed up for Halloween. I don’t know if I’ll cry handing out candy tonight or not. My birthday is next week, plan to skip it this year, as I have nothing to celebrate. I’m thankful for my close friends who have helped, my grief counselor, my pen pals from soaring spirits and this site widow village where I can put my thoughts and feelings down. 

Tomorrow will be another day 

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Comment by jlsrdh on November 7, 2018 at 6:08pm

Well I only cried a little twice. My neighbor brought over her mom to introduce me. When she started the I’m so sorry for your loss I of course started. 

My sister and her husband came over to be with me that night. Everyone here sits in chairs in their driveway

so a lady with her grandkids came. She said when I drive by I always wave when I see you and your husband sitting in the driveway. 

He was out there every morning reading his iPad for 30 minutes or so. Called it his break. Always wanted me outside with him

I told this lady that he died 2 months previous. That started me crying. The next day my sister told me when they were driving home that lady 

stopped them and she wanted to get to know me. My sisters reply was well she is always home. 

It will be interesting to see if I ever see her again. And yes I’m pleased I’m learning not to use his tooks

Comment by Texas on November 7, 2018 at 5:43pm

I hope you did not cry during Halloween and that you did celebrate a bit for your birthday. I am very impressed that you are learning to use the tools. Good for you!

Comment by jayne on November 6, 2018 at 6:07pm

my husband had a stroke the end of april he died 10 days later  the first 3 days he was talking and kidding around a little but then on day 7 he wasnt doing anything but sleeping the he passed away at 230 in the morning,,my whole world fell apart ,, we had just moved into the house we had built 6 weeks before ,i had bought a suv  i was going to retire in nov, and we were going to do his bucket list,,he wasnt in the best of health but he wasnt on his death bed,,,but then a sudden stroke happened the morning we were going on a road trip with our corvette club,,,my life has no meaning now,,i go to work and come home to my 2 dogs,they are my greaters,i dont know what to do i try to keep busy,i do to grief class,,im thinking of joining a exercise club,other then that there a lot of crying,,,i two have tools tools and car parts plus 2 classic cars a corvette im paying for now plus my suv i just bought,,,loads of car magazines for old cars and new ones ,,,i go by the grave site 2 xs a week putting flowers on his grave for the deer to eat...im trying to go once a week but hard to let go,,,,,they say it gets better i just hope so,thanksgiving coming i think ill stay in bed.........

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