Our first anniversary of marriage, although most of the first year I have been a widow

I remember the day I met Tj. It was a Friday, I went to our mutual friends house. I pulled in the driveway and saw him working on his raggedy old truck. I remember laughing to myself, thinking what the heck is that guy wearing? (his white wife beater ) Joseph introduced us and I remember just blowing him off, and going on about my business. We all three got ready and went to Marbury’s first football game of the season. As we were walking into the stadium, Tj looked at my with his big smile from ear to ear and said, “You are so cute and tiny, I could just put you in my pocket, Come on!”. He said that while opening his pocket like I was going to jump in! lol He annoyed me so much that night and I remember thinking what a goober he was. Somehow, someway we ended up a couple about 6 weeks later. Tj made me madder, more annoyed, happier, more loved, more pampered, than anyone ever has. He made me smile, laugh, yell, open up, and just be happy with what we had, or didn’t have. He was not the type of man everyone thought he would be. He was so loving, gentle, kind, playful, and happy. He loved my kids more than his self. He strived everyday to make us all smile. If that was accomplished then he felt good. He showed me the type of man he was, and continued to be. He is the one that pushed us into going to church. He got us the house on Bent Tree, he went to every appointment for Caleb, every purchase I made for Caleb he had to be there, he was at the park every Monday with the kids (nothing stood in the way of that!) he did everything and anything to make us a family. On May 14th 2011 I became Mrs. Ashley Green. It was a perfect day, in our home, with our close friends and family. I felt happier than I ever have. I just knew great things were coming and his life was finally going in the direction he deserved! I love him so much it hurts. I just wish I had one more chance to say “I love you”, to hug him, to kiss him, to show him Caleb, and tell him about my school, talk to him about life, see him with his wife beater and headphones in dancing around the house, watch him playing ball with the boys. He did so much for us and with us. I just wish he would have given me the chance to be the wife and family he deserved. Today is so hard!! I am so thankful for what I have, but I am so pissed that he is not one of those that I do have.