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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I juggle the kids, the bills, the life

Trying to run from the label: lonely wife

I miss you so much, it hurts so deep

It's 3am, I'm still unable to sleep

Your touch, your kiss, your love - all gone

I'm a shell of a person, without you to lean on

You made me better; you made me complete

It should have been someone else when God hit "delete"

Couldn't he see we were a pair?

A love beyond measure, no one could compare

How could all that be taken away?

Without your love, I don't like each day

Am I the one being punished? Or is it you?

Stripped of the life we once knew

No running, no walking, no hope, no hugs

But holding your hand, I held onto your love

In your final moments, we were all by your side

The deepest tears I have ever cried

How I long for one more embrace

One more time to see your face

How could God decide that we were through?

All I wanted was more time to love you....

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Comment by Goldberry on May 3, 2014 at 9:23pm
It is an infinite grief....I am so sad for your sadness too....<3 you have my complete understanding...I hear you my friend.
Comment by my roses on April 21, 2014 at 12:04am


Forgot to say that  yes we are in a different situation than EVER BEFORE.   I have never had such a long lasting grief either. Or had so many pressures and issues at the same time as the grief.. I am walking the earth but I am not of it... my heart and soul are elsewhere.  Just wanted to say that  our chinese surgeon friend (see blog on WV) rang me yesterday and said he felt his wife's presence very often.  He is working in the outback.  Even some of the Aboriginal people have said to him they have seen a woman travelling everywhere with him and heard her voice!!

Comment by my roses on April 20, 2014 at 11:59pm

My roses

Doug really understand... it must be worse sometimes for men because of all this silly Macho stuff you are supposed to be. You are a human being first of fact a man who can cry is attractive. When I think about so many of the love songs on the radio (mostly American ones) it is the man whois saying I am crying, I can;t live with out you, you are my everything etc.  But it does not sound squishy it sounds marvellous a man who can be both strong, protective, capable and also fall deeply in love.  This is how my Wes was - he was 6ft tall manly looking man but he could express his hearts desire and show unconditional love. If men can do that, then what is wrong with them crying about it?   Take heart Doug macho men often come to a nasty end.. because they are always gunning for something.   You are for real not a male archetype.

If others can't cope with your love (and that is what it is ) not your so called weakness.  TOO BAD!!!

Comment by Doug02122014 on April 19, 2014 at 9:08pm
ice cream & my roses:

I think we all on same page with my odd/different sense of humor and the "man-card" or "He Man Club"; both fictious. Its a good ice breaker with people when I break down uncontrollably and place them into a very uncomfortable spot. Usually when discussion centers around my wife, or how we're doing, and even total strangers when certain unexpected triggers hit me.

my roses, I'm glad to know you have my back when it comes to my tears. Don't know what it is about me but I use to be able to control my emotions. But then again, like most everyone else here, I've never been in a situation like this before either. I cannot imagine how much more difficult this would be if I had more pressure on me to hold it in.

Holidays got tough on me starting Wednesday (anniversary day) and haven't let up. All I have to do is make it through rest of day

Comment by my roses on April 19, 2014 at 7:14am

My roses  

Icecream As an Australian what is a man -card?  Yes my book would enjoy your poem. I  will  not use

particular things  from widows but it  will have  Wes and I 's journey, then the loss and the hope for the future.  The loss will be about all the the things Wes and I went through, and how the posts and blogs

helped. Also  general stuff that shows what the grief journey is like  and how most of us have felt the same things.  There is a pattern to our sufferings.  I can also use the posts I wrote about various topics.

Doug you won't get kicked out of anywhere for raining tears... if someone tries I will be after them!  We have only more recently got men to know it is ok to cry... can't have it blocked off again.

Well the last 2 days have been rather teary for me too. Crying in the car has arrived again.  It comes out of nowhere - don't even know sometimes what is causing it.  But I did go out today with 2 friends and  their lovely dog. We walked by the river and  as I drove into the park area I felt a sense of peace.  After the walk we went and had a late breakfast.  Now I am back at home writing emails to friends or phoning them, or sending photos taken of us all last week.  The rest of Easter I  have no plans....

Comment by icecream on April 18, 2014 at 4:58am

Doug, I think being a widow might suspend the least for awhile! I think it's weird - we come to this site to be comforted, yet we also know that it 'sets us off'...maybe we are all just trying to control 'something' in our lives again, even if it's a simple as trying to control 'when we feel bad'?

Myroses, love your book idea.  Something for widows, by widows...would be nice. Of course, you will have to share the proceeds - ha! I have more poems, it didn't really seem like people were reading that one so I am hesitant to throw my heart out there.  My daughter also writes them about her Dad and they are amazing - she is much better than me. Try to have a good day, everyone...

Comment by Doug02122014 on April 18, 2014 at 3:39am
Ice cream

That was great, sooo on the mark. If I don't quit raining tears I'm going to get kicked out of the "HeManClub" again. Ha! Ha! Will reply to this later. Got to get kiddos on bus now. Great job!

Comment by my roses on April 18, 2014 at 12:07am

My  Roses 

I am glad that my words helped a bit. I am actually putting together a book. It is really about the Great Love

journey and all the things that we have had happen. I have a lot of stuff now and must now consider chapters in the book.  I really like your poem.  Would you be willing to have it in a book, with your name

(whether real name or the Avatar or pseudonym name).  There are not really many widowhood poems as it has all been brushed under the carpet in our society.   I am finding this Easter Friday a real  bad patch.

Feel lethargic and  there is so much to do.. but am not inclined to do any of them.  Just let me know what  you fee re the poem.  with love

Comment by icecream on April 16, 2014 at 6:59pm

Myroses, thanks for your nice words.  I wrote this from my heart - glad you got it - but sorry you can relate. I am not new to the widow thing -  but new to seeking comfort here. Glad I found you all....

Comment by my roses on April 13, 2014 at 11:20pm

My roses

Icecream I feel every word you have said. I understand the depth of every word you have said.

I ask similar questions such as why  does a Love of your Life - beautiful and special marriage  get broken - often by shocking  events. Why does the L of y Life get taken very young... when one could have many years  ahead.   If you were beside his bed that was wonderful in one way... but seeing the  L of y Life pass away in front of you is THE MOST  poignant and incredible thing to happe in one's life. I never expected I would experience this...  It is good in some ways - better than rushing to the hospital and there is no time to say goodbye.  But??   looking into their eyes  as they go is  numbing first.  Then it hits us.  Love your poem

says it all.  


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