A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
I guess I am getting "used to" the fact that John is not physically here. I miss him like crazy.. but acceping the reality of what is. I did not want to go on without him; but I guess God isn't finished with me yet.
I still feel lopsided, and often when I do something.. I want to "tell him" share my day and listen to his.
I cook, not every night, because my grandson lives with me. I know he likes my cooking, and always Thanks Me. It isn't the same joy or enthuisam that I had. I so miss "this is my favorite" and then we would chuckle.. as I said hmm you have so many favorites.LOL
I even miss the channel surfing.
Life goes on, I am not trying to catch up with it... I was in a Fog like all of us. I am getting back on this Merry Go Round. I have learned to reach out, make new friendships and share my feelings.
I'm not reaching for any "brass rings" but I am on for the ride.." It's a Small World After All" comes into my mind.
i think I am learning to be more "gentle" with myself.
I did not sleep very well last night, so I am not doing much today, but relaxing, maybe a little crocheting, a little reading.
I do not need to "fuss" over grandson... lol the freezer has hot pockets, some frozen things, and the pantry has soup, etc. He will not starve. Gave him a heads up this am, that I was not feeling 100% and didn't feel like cooking. He said no problem grandma.. He has a friend over for the weekend.
I am moving forward.. and this time it is more about "me" where am I going.. I don't have a clue, just taking one day at a time, and figure God will help lead me to where I am supposed to be.
My fur babies keep me company, and keep me sane. they are quite the snugglers. and I often feel John through them, especially the oldest.. the one John bought me.
I am getting to be more at Peace I think. I still have my days and know I always will. This is the life I have now.. and I am slowlu adjusting to it. I am making plans for the "future" like meetings, lunch with friends and even going to CWW... plans.. for the future. A few months ago.. I know i would not have been able to do this. Meeting and making friends here, and going to my grief group.. re-entering the world.
Thank You to All Here who have reached out and touched me, a kind word, a virrtual hug, for understanding, because of this... All things are Possible.