Over the years, Paul and I enjoyed the support of a local group of parents of kids who have special needs...they are wonderful, and we were blessed over and over for the support we found there. When he died, I was moved from the couples group to the single moms...which I understood, but am unable to embrace. This is part of my farewell email to the head of the group - and part of my new found permission to myself to redefine who I am now...instead of others being allowed to label or define me:
I have just returned home after a wonderful evening ...but it has taught me so many things. I have taken on many titles since Paul died, but the one I will be unable to wear is that of a "single mom." So much of my life was, is and always will be that of a married woman - so hopelessly in love with my husband - that thinking outside that mindset is beyond me. When I married him, it was for life - and that simply means for my life...At this time, and going forward, I will no longer be involved...as it was obvious that I no longer "fit." ...despite no longer having a husband here, I am caught in the limbo of not meeting the criteria for either group. The charity does so many amazing things, for so many deserving people - but there is a time and season for everything - and mine has ended. Thank you all for everything...blessed be!