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Scared

In the year and some odd days that Dan has been gone, I have had bronchitis, sore throat, a root canal (the worst) and other little things.  I have been able to handle them just fine.  But now, on Thursday, I will be having surgery -- nothing big -- to repair the torn meniscus in my left knee and to "clean up" the Articular cartilage.  It is finally hitting me that Dan won't be here to take care of me.  I have to be totally dependent on my neighbors.  My dog and I will be "moving in" with them for a few days after the surgery.  This is so hard.  I want to be in my own house, but there is no one to be here to help me.  I'm just super scared because he isn't here....I'm mad at him because he isn't here....I just don't want to go through this without him.

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Comment by JPSwifeCathy on October 1, 2013 at 5:51am
SUSAN--I'm praying for you & with you--((HUGS)) Last Sept I was in a minor car accident, I was carried by ambulance to the hospital to be checked out. I tried to call my in-laws to let them know( they were at church & I couldn't reach them!!) my daughter was at work &I didn't want to worry her---so I lie there "alone'--in the ER. 6 hours
Later I called a friend to take me home!
Comment by Dianne in Nevada on October 1, 2013 at 5:03am

I understand, Susan - it's a fear I share. These things just make the "missing" harder. I'm grateful you have kind neighbors who will be there as you recover. Will hold you close on Thursday.

Comment by sandytoes on September 30, 2013 at 6:20pm

Somehow, it seems to work out.  No, it isn't like having our spouses with us.  I have cried many tears this year wishing my husband could be here for me to lean on during my illness and surgery.  But, I am also glad he didn't know.  He would be so worried.  It's hard to ask for and accept help from others.  Just remember that people in your life really want to help in some way.  Still, it doesn't come near to replacing those that loved us most.

Comment by Dfree on September 30, 2013 at 5:56pm

Thank you for posting this.  I had to have minor surgery last week and they told me I had to have someone pick me up -- because I would be groggy and not feeling good.  It made me feel so vulnerable and fragile, even though I wasn't super worried about the surgery.  My friend picked me up, but I know if she has surgery her husband will get her.  Hope yours turned out okay.

Comment by Susan on September 30, 2013 at 4:50pm
I can empathize completely. I dread getting sick or injured, because Kevin isn't here to take care of me anymore. I'm glad that you have neighbors to help, but I know it pales in comparison. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts.
Comment by Susan D (Profe D) on September 30, 2013 at 12:40pm

Thanks, Janet!!!!!!!

Comment by Morgana (Janet) on September 30, 2013 at 10:28am

(((Susan))).  Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers sweetie.  He may not be physically but his presences will be with you and still is today.  Let me know how it goes.  Sending lots of Hugs and Positive Thoughts your way.

Comment by Susan D (Profe D) on September 29, 2013 at 1:49pm

Thanks, Liz!

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