In the year and some odd days that Dan has been gone, I have had bronchitis, sore throat, a root canal (the worst) and other little things. I have been able to handle them just fine. But now, on Thursday, I will be having surgery -- nothing big -- to repair the torn meniscus in my left knee and to "clean up" the Articular cartilage. It is finally hitting me that Dan won't be here to take care of me. I have to be totally dependent on my neighbors. My dog and I will be "moving in" with them for a few days after the surgery. This is so hard. I want to be in my own house, but there is no one to be here to help me. I'm just super scared because he isn't here....I'm mad at him because he isn't here....I just don't want to go through this without him.