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In the year and some odd days that Dan has been gone, I have had bronchitis, sore throat, a root canal (the worst) and other little things. I have been able to handle them just fine. But now, on Thursday, I will be having surgery -- nothing big -- to repair the torn meniscus in my left knee and to "clean up" the Articular cartilage. It is finally hitting me that Dan won't be here to take care of me. I have to be totally dependent on my neighbors. My dog and I will be "moving in" with them for a few days after the surgery. This is so hard. I want to be in my own house, but there is no one to be here to help me. I'm just super scared because he isn't here....I'm mad at him because he isn't here....I just don't want to go through this without him.
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I understand, Susan - it's a fear I share. These things just make the "missing" harder. I'm grateful you have kind neighbors who will be there as you recover. Will hold you close on Thursday.
Somehow, it seems to work out. No, it isn't like having our spouses with us. I have cried many tears this year wishing my husband could be here for me to lean on during my illness and surgery. But, I am also glad he didn't know. He would be so worried. It's hard to ask for and accept help from others. Just remember that people in your life really want to help in some way. Still, it doesn't come near to replacing those that loved us most.
Thank you for posting this. I had to have minor surgery last week and they told me I had to have someone pick me up -- because I would be groggy and not feeling good. It made me feel so vulnerable and fragile, even though I wasn't super worried about the surgery. My friend picked me up, but I know if she has surgery her husband will get her. Hope yours turned out okay.
Thanks, Janet!!!!!!!
(((Susan))). Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers sweetie. He may not be physically but his presences will be with you and still is today. Let me know how it goes. Sending lots of Hugs and Positive Thoughts your way.
Thanks, Liz!
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