My husband has been dead 2 years and two months. I thought I was doing okay, but I don't think I am. Im so lonely all the time. My head spins a mile a minute trying to figure out what the heck Im supposed to do with my life, or want to do with my life. Most of my closest friends are married so for the most part, Im dumped on the weekends. I was stay at home mom -newly empty nester when he died -as if that wasn't a transition enough.
I have family and friends and its no like Im alone all the time, but Im still so lonely. NOTHING seems to fill the void. I went up to our cottage on a lake. My husband was killed in a car accident up here. NOTHING is the same.
One minute I say OKAY I got this IM gonna do this, this, and this. The next Im thinking EFF it IM SO done. I have prayed to ask God to send me friends, help me not be so stinkin' sad all the time. WHEN does this end. I feel like I am never going to heal. AND now that its been two years I have no one to really vent too. People are sick of hearing it. Besides they don't know what to say either. So I silently (as best I can as Im quite vocal) suffer!
I don't want to do this anymore. I want to quit.