This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

"Sh*t People Say to Widows:" Please participate1

We are making a group video called ""Sh*t people say to widows" based on the "meme." If you're not familiar with them, here's a list (Watch out…some of them are pretty offensive and some of them have commercials). If you wish to watch only one, this one is very good ("Shit white girls say to black girls"):

This is a group project and we have to work FAST. Please read all the way through. I would love to have all submissions by next Tuesday, 1/24!

Between the thousands of widowed folks who read this blog, are in and my FB pages, we will have TONS of insensitive comments that people say to widows and widowers. Want a taste of the material we've lived through? Read this, this or view this adorable and nasty video. There are also two threads on my FB timeline, each with more than 100 comments. We haz steam!

Want to participate?

You can contribute a quote or a video.

-- To contribute a quote, just fill out the custom form I created.

-- To contribute a video…… 

Email me your SUPER-SHORT videos. They should be less than 5 seconds each! If you want to do more than one, that's awesome, but make each video separately.

    •    JUST perform the quote… don't explain it, don't tell us background or who it was. JUST THE WORDS.
    •    Yes, you can film it on your phone.
    •    You do NOT have to use HD video and if you have the option, turn OFF HD video.
    •    You can use any background including your regular old house BUT make sure there are no identifying details like family photos or street signs or anything.
    •    As for attitude: You want to be imitating someone. Pretend you are the clueless or rude person.
    •    You can wear a wig or schmatte on your head, or a costume, if you like, but that's not important. Doing this FAST is important!

If one of you would take a bunch of short videos of yourself eating a bag of chips while looking away from the camera, in different settings, that would be very, very awesome too. Somehow that flavor is part of the series. I nominate Robin Craig and a bag of Beanitos!

When you send your clip to me, tell me in the email if you wish us to use your name in the credits… or a pseudonym, or nothing. Make sure you use the email -- if you post it to YouTube I can't use it!

Email me if you have any questions. Comments are great, but please use the form or an email if you have a question about the project that needs to be resolved quickly -- I will get those sooner!

Don't forget -- Send your 5-second (or shorter) video clips to me by Tuesday 1/24!!!!

Thank you and yaHOO!!!

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Comment by oldhippie59 on March 31, 2012 at 5:24pm

I'm new to this site, and I want to thank you for the nice welcome. I just watched "Shit People Say to Widows" and I just want to tell you how great I think it is! I couldn't help but smile at some of the comments. I've been fortunate that my friends have refrained from saying stuff like that (well, most of them, anyway). Sometimes they just say something without thinking too much about it first. They feel they must say SOMETHING, you know? But I know that their intentions are good. One exception might be my doctor: She likes to say, "Well, you get TWO years" (to grieve.) Oh, and then what? Everything's all of a sudden BETTER? Thanks, Doc. I'm not quite sure what HER intentions are, but doctors tend to be "funny" people when it comes to emotions, anyway (at least in my experience!)

Strangely, (or not) I haven't heard from a lot of them in awhile. People are very solicitous right after and maybe for a month or so after your husband passes away, but then they "fade away". But that's a two-way street, isn't it? I don't find myself calling them, either.

Comment by jean on January 26, 2012 at 6:51am

*Hand is Up*  ;)

Comment by Soaring Spirits on January 22, 2012 at 3:24pm
Ace, that discussion is one of the links in the blog post and it is GOLD!! We will use some of those, too. Repetition is powerful, yes!
Susan, I know I said them... Even the really bad ones... And I still say "wrong" things because really... There are no words....

Thanks and keep those videos and quotes coming!!!
Comment by Ace on January 21, 2012 at 10:28pm

Supa Dupa, So glad your doing this video.:)

SO GLAD your doing this...should turn out great! Last week I saw some of the other clips of this series. Immediately also thougth that there should be one for "Sh*t people say to Widows" just did not have the organizational skills you do to make it happen. Somewhere on WV There was a long list of the most common things we hear all the time. If you know where to find it, please post it here,

You might get a-lot of us doing the same ones although that would be funny all also...5 people each doing a version of...your pretty, you'll get married again, they are in a better place..., call me if you need any....thing (as if you might need or want them for sex) wink wink at you., are you or you need to get back on the horse, they are watching you ALL THE TIME. Should of been my spouse instead, those are just a few, I have heard.

Comment by Susan B on January 21, 2012 at 3:47pm

hands up--who cringed over things THEY said before becoming a widow themselves?...

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