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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Two weeks past the one year anniversary of my husband's death I am still swept away with sudden crying spells but not so often, so I guess that is progress of a sort. I got through the year. I'm not sure how, but I did. I traveled a lot visiting friends and children and grand-children and just getting out of the house, the town, the life where every moment was a reminder of the loss of my best friend and constant support of almost 34 years at least provided distraction if not healing. But sooner or later you have to stay home and face the difficult tasks of paperwork, house maintenance, holidays alone. Grief is a funny thing. It isn't a completely unknown territory to me. I have grieved many losses--my parents, a loved housekeeper and surrogate mother, a divorce, my youth, friends who proved not to be what I had believed. But this grief is different. This is unknown territory. After a lengthy illness that should have prepared me for his final departure, my husband's death still came as a debilitating blow. I know he would want me to go on, and that does keep me trying. But some days, and today is one of them, it is just so very hard. Shifting gears into a new life at my stage of life is proving to be one of the hardest challenges I have ever faced.

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Comment by Hope on August 22, 2015 at 7:29pm

Yes, I feel that way. Shifting gears is hard when you have had a lifetime of love and relationship

Comment by runm0423 (Micki) on August 12, 2015 at 7:57pm
Bonnie... I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband nearly 4 months ago. He suffered from CHF, so his death wasn't a surprise. But I'm sorry... I don't care how "prepared" you are, you do not know what this loss is like until it happens. I'm trying my best to go through the motions of daily life... but sometimes, I'm overcome with grief and such saddness that I can't breath. I don't think there is any magic cure or time for this pain to heal. I hope time makes it better. I too stay busy... I visit friends, and travel... but there is no escape from the new "normal". It is what it is.
Comment by Bonnie on August 9, 2015 at 1:36pm
I think people can be completely insensitive to what we are feeling. I would just have to walk away from a comment like that.
Comment by BEC on August 9, 2015 at 1:16pm

I had one of those things said to me yesterday that   I just couldn't phantom.  I was at a gathering and this woman (15 years my senior) who knew my husband died , said " so what are the single men like out there " I looked at her and turned away I had no word's!!!Just had to get that off my chest I was just dumbfounded !!

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