When Tom died I relied a great deal on friends and family, like I'm sure we all did and possibly still do. I would not throw away my friends for a thousand years, they have been my strength. I have a few very close friends that I basically talk to about everything I am thinking and going through, this is why I say I don't need therapy, I have my friends to talk to. Friends that I don't have to tell my back story to, friends that know what I have been through and just know who I am. I'm sure at times my friends are done with hearing me say the same thing over and over, or the same concern I have (which is a lot since my anxiety since this has happened is through the roof). One of my dearest and longest friends made an interesting comment yesterday. Now this is a friend that I have known before my husband, we have been friends for over 30 years. She told me that she feels have been stuck in the stage of grief that I am for too long. So now I sit and ponder.... I even asked her to clarify.... What stage of grief am I in? She could not really tell me... she thought somewhere between acceptance and whatever the step before acceptance is. So I ponder.... She says that she has heard me talk about the same things over and over now for a few months... Now mind you, my husband has been gone for ten months.... not years. So I ponder..... I know there is no maliciousness in her comments.... I know that she's not saying anything to upset.... She has mentioned a time or two or three or four that she feels I should go to a therapist... So I ponder.... Maybe I should go to a therapist.... Maybe I should be further along in her mind (however I do think people get through things at a very different rate).... Maybe I am relying too heavily on her for when I need support... I don't know. I am trying to still wrap my head around that brief discussion we had and extract what it was exactly she was trying to tell me. Then I think maybe I am thinking too much about it and it was just her observation... So, I ponder.