I"m at 11 weeks, and I'm so tired. I'm tired of the emptiness, the silence, the pain, the every. single. day. of. living. I push through, but only because I have a 15 yr old. But I"m tired. Today, as I was driving down the freeway, I felt so overwhelmingly exhausted. The meds I finally gave into taking aren't working so much anymore... and I can't tell the doctor I put on my "mask" for her and for everyone for that matter... I"m just ... done. 11 weeks along, and I'm done. I have no idea how all of you make it farther along... when at this point...even breathing is hard work. My muscles feel heavy, my chest is constricted, my mind is so fuzzy but won't shut down for nothing. I thought I needed peace...so while driving..I turned off the radio and just tried to quiet my mind... and ended up hitting a bird. Stupid bird. All that did was make me cry..then when I got off the freeway to check the van for damage...cried again because of all the blood and feathers...then cried again at the car wash.. .it was so loud...when all I was doing was trying to quiet my spirit... so I'm done... I don't know how I"ll make it tomorrow but honestly, I don't care right now. I know this is just a dip in the roller coaster of my new life.... but I didn't ask for a new life... I don't want a new life... I just want to go back to the way things were... I'd happily take those struggles any day! this is simply just too hard and hurts too much and I'm tired.