A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
spread kindness and love
forgive others for they know not what they say
love them for who they are, not for who you want them to be
remember... we didn't know what to say before this happened to us either
Like Dianne said in her post to our sweet Javi..
forgive, be kind to others... we don't know how long we have
Cherish your friends and family. Forgive them, love them and remember to smile towards the heavens because ... they like to see us smile.
Takes a long time but we do learn how to live again. The Grief Changes as time goes by. Last year I couldn't get the last few months out of my mind.. those last few days.. all my F ups, all my failings... all of his suffering..
This year as I passed the date of my dad's birthday and passing I was remembering happier times instead of his last days.. this.is.greif.changing.
As mike's birthday aproaches this saturday the twentieth... I am brought back to happier birthdays.. instead of it being the day I buried my Dad (on Mike's last bday)... I am remembering happier times..
My son and DIL were married the 16th... same day my dad died... on their first anniversary.. Next year I will remember this day as their day first, not the day my Dad left.. THEY deserve to it be THEIR day. They are alive.. giving me grandbabies.. keeping me alive and loved.
my thoughts are scattered.. I'm tired.. it's friday, YAY... but I am doing well.. no crying jags.. just a few teared up moments.. nothing horrible like last year.
Time does help.. it helps.. and forgiveness.. of ourselves and others. I still struggle with forgiving myself, but I am doing a better job at that this year too.
Thanks to all my widow friends here... you all matter to me and will always be in my thoughts and prayers.
Hang in there, life does go on.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Views: 83
Comment
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Comment by Nolan's Mum on October 23, 2012 at 10:04am
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Great post
I love the first 3 lines. I need to read them over and over again - especially with the holidays approaching.
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Comment by Suz on October 20, 2012 at 7:59am -
You are doing well, Jean. I thin, it is interesting to see us all go through stages here. I had so much anger at my beloved husband for several months...what in the hevk was that for? We move song and I have forgiven myself for the helplessness I felt at the end of his life, I so wanted to do more. There is s beauty in having pele at various stage, some lead us and eventually we will lead others. Thanks for your caring thoughts!
Hugs,
Suz
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Comment by LaurieR on October 19, 2012 at 9:56pm -
Jean it is so nice to be reminded that there is light. Thank you
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Comment by janet on October 19, 2012 at 6:59pm -
Jean, thank you for this. I needed to be reminded again. Funny how it is we forget that we also have to forgive ourselves.
Peace and Hope....
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Comment by kimkirt (KK) on October 19, 2012 at 5:07pm -
Jean, thank you for this. Sometimes I think we forget to give ourselves permission to move forward. I was thinking about that the other day when I posted about my first date day with Steve. If I don't remember it, who will? Do I need to be sad on those days or can I be happy? Can I see it for the happy day it was and not just another "first" to get through? Maybe on day, maybe next year. Thank you for this blog post, it was beautiful and much needed. xoxo my friend.
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Comment by chez2all on October 19, 2012 at 4:49pm -
Jean, thanks for sharing part of your journey. Discovering that the happy memories return is a truly wonderful gift to us...our loved ones LIVES become the focus of our memories instead of their deaths and for this I am truly grateful.
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Comment by Lori on October 19, 2012 at 3:23pm -
love the reminder about forgiveness, it does help oh so so much. take care
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