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Starting to enjoy my new life.

I'm 11 months out. I’m starting to enjoy the freedom of being single. I did not want the freedom of being single. I would prefer to have my wife, my soul mate, my better half. I'd do anything to have my old life back. It was happy and carefree. We had 17 years of love and respect. But since I’m single, I now see that I can enjoy this too. I feel a little bit guilty, but not very guilty because I know she's smiling down at me saying YES! Enjoy yourself when you can!!

This feeling only started recently, and only sometimes.

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Comment by Athena53 on May 15, 2017 at 4:20am

I feel like that a lot and yes, I feel guilty except that I know that my husband would have wanted me to be happy after he was gone from this earth.  The week before he died I booked a trip to Central America ( 5 months from then- we knew he didn't have that long) and he was happy for me.  I went there last month and it was a spectacular trip; I dropped some of DH's ashes into the Panama Canal and some off the bow of the ship while we were anchored near a beautiful national park.

I think about dating again because I'd like the company of a good man in my life but when I think about giving up some of my freedom and flexibility, I'm not sure.  I've got enough outside activities that I get around other humans on a regular basis but when I get back home I actually enjoy the peace and quiet in the beautiful house DH and I chose together. 

It's early- 6 months today- and I'm not ready to take off my wedding band.

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