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Hi Friends - I lost my dear husband of 30 years to Lymphoma and Lung Cancer in and friends have sustained me but I still feel stunned by my loss. Why did this happen? My young adult children lost a great father. I feel like my soul is split in half. I trust God. I know I am still here for a reason by why did Rick have to exit? He was only 60! I read everything I can get my hands on about grief and death and faith. I feel Rick's spirit with me. He would have been a wonderful Grandpa someday. He would have loved walking our daughter down the isle some day! We would have loved retirement and travel. I know I certainly don't have the answers! Heartbroken Spirit

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Comment by lizbeth4 on July 17, 2016 at 9:21am

Hi Heartbroken,  I was wondering how you are doing? I still feel my Husband's spirit with me.  He has help guide me with my move to anther town and many things that I have gone through since his death.  I don't know if I would have survived with out it.   He loved watches and had many of them.   After his death, I put the last watch he wore in my purse.  It has gone with me everywhere.  It is just something that brings me comfort.   The first year is really tough!   It does get a little better after that as you start coming to the realization that you have to build a different life for yourself.  So, I focus on my adult Daughters and Grandson and a handful of awesome friends!   Grieving is so hard, both mentally and physically.   I did go to the hospice support group for 6 months and I find support and comfort here.   Please take care of yourself during this time.   It is easy to get run down.   I will be thinking of you.   Sending you hugs))))

Comment by Heartbroken Spirit on July 1, 2016 at 6:30pm
Thank you for your support deaf widow and lisbeth4! I hope you both are having better days.
Comment by lizbeth4 on June 30, 2016 at 5:22pm

Hi Heartbroken Spirit,   I am sorry for your loss.   My Husband died 3 years ago of lung cancer.   He was 57 years old and I was 55 at the time.    I am still asking myself why?   Our adult Daughters and 10 year old Grandson mourn him also.   Although everyone's grief journeys are different, I can tell you what has helped me:   Keep reading books on grief, death and faith, grief support groups were helpful for the first year, the support here was very uplifting.   The first 2 years were the hardest for me.   This last year has been better.  I am functioning a lot better and starting to socialize instead of being a hermit.   The sadness and loneliness is still there but not all the time as it was in the beginning.   I miss my Husband and I know I will never find someone like him again.  He was my life partner.  Now I have to form a new life without him.   Very hard!   Remember to be kind to yourself.   Make sure you eat, sleep, and take care of yourself.  Hugs))))

Comment by deaf widow on June 27, 2016 at 6:19am

I so understand your misery after losing your hubby due to this horrible cancer.  I, too, lost mine last Dec. due to cancer everywhere and 8 brain tumors.  He was diagnosed too late for any hope of a cure.  He was 69 yrs. old.  I hate cancer!  I miss him so much (he made the BEST coffee ever).  I miss the conversations, laughing, going places together on his motorcycle.  He was a Christian motorcycle pastor who would try to help others.  So...I totally understand what you are going through!  Please don't worry about any grammatical mistakes.  We make them too!  Am sending you hugs...((((((Heartbroken Spirit))))))))!

Comment by Heartbroken Spirit on June 26, 2016 at 7:14pm
Sorry about the grammatical mistakes. I am pretty tired but want to get started in this supportive community. Heartbroken Spirit

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