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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

There is always something new to worry about.  The news from the neurosurgeon was not good. The aneurysm is not operable so I live with it. I know that if I have a sharp pain in my  head I have to ring an emergency ambulance. If  I am driving I pull off the road and if I have time ring the ambulance. Sounds so simple doesn't it? Well that is one problem I hope not to face. In the meantime I am not to worry (easier said than done) and go on with my life. The good news from the appointment with the nurse clinician two days later was that my lymphodemic leg is the same size as last time so it has stabilized....wahoo !

The weather is typical Spring, one day warm,one day cold. Last night I was at a school reunion dinner and wore a dress and lacey jacket and was too hot, today I wore a similar dress and heavier jacket to church and I was too cold. I didn't know whether I would enjoy the reunion, but with only about a third of the people we had for the fiftieth anniversary  I did. I found with a smaller number it was easy to talk to everyone. Some of the people whose company I most enjoyed in the final years of school were there and the meal and the long talks after were great. We talked about maybe afternoon tea and then dinner next time as we are all around 70 now and not used to late nights. Poor old dears!

The catch up speeches at the reunion once again notified us of recent deaths, sad that some of the students who showed the most promise didn't make it to retirement. I was middle ranked except for English studies, left school and went into a series of office jobs, nothing outstanding in my career, but the strokes Ray had ended my work career anyway. I had to give up my good job to be his full time caregiver.There seemed to be a a few who had reached their goal, from college professors to medical practitioners. There was a lot of talk about the sports the boys were involved in and of course the golf and bowls they play now. The women talked of grandchildren and showed each other photos.

But whatever job you had in your working life didn't seem important as we mostly spoke about our medical conditions as most older folk do. And as we are mostly retired now what do our differences matter anyway? They simply give us more to talk about.. I missed a few of the people I used to be particular friends with, it is sad we have drifted apart. Of course we exchanged email addresses in some cases so it will be interesting to see if further contact takes place. I would like to keep in touch with some of the women particularly one who used to stay at our place overnight as her Dad couldn't always pick her up because he was a shift worker. We had a long talk about some of our adventures in our mispent youth and had a laugh or two.

There is plenty here to keep me occupied,  now that the days are getting longer I am spending more time working among my planters and gardens. I have to do it in short bursts as the bending and stretching  takes its toll on my leg muscles. I have always loved working in the garden and although I have to work harder to achieve results now a good display of flowers is it's own reward. One of the men was an orchid grower so knew our assistant minister's husband as he is President of the biggest  orchid association locally. There is always someone who knows someone you know.  

No more medical appointments this year apart from a check up at the local skin clinic. All else is on hold till February. I am glad as I need time now to work out what I need to do next. I guess working on the list of things that are bothering me about the house.  My handyman seems uninterested in doing any further work for me so I''ll have to find someone else to fix some of the things on my list. I do so miss Ray's handyman skills. He would hate to see doors that need rehanging and pieces hanging down from the flowerhouse after a strong wind we had a few weeks ago. Everything seems to wear out at once doesn't it? I need a new washing machine now as mine has broken down and at seven years old really is not worth fixing anyway.

So let's hope Spring ends the funeral season, sweeps away the illnesses so I don't have to do  so many hospital visits and releases all of those who have been imprisoned in their homes because of the cold. We need some warmer days and some time in the sun. Hot weather will come soon enough and then we will be complaining about that.

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