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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

20 yrs ago i net her in an aol chatroom. we did chat alot then phone till late at night a yr later she moved from rockwood tn. to here. we had so many great yrs. she loved to mow the yard,watch the walking dead and go to wal-mart. about 2 yrs ago her back got worse so i did everything  . was glad to do it. last winter she got a sore throut that was more in her mouth. first doctor thought thrush. then different medicine then specialist. said burning mouth syndrome ,no cause no cure.she could barely eat and got weaker . i tried to make her what she liked but very little. then last wed. july 8 she got worse i called 911 they came took her she didn`t make it. if i tried harder to get her to eat, if called 911 sooner. so alone its been 4 days i pace around sit down get up and wander. we use to set all day watching ty now i don`t know what to do. well more later

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Comment by Debb on Friday

Good morning how are you doing?

Comment by Snowhite on July 13, 2020 at 7:13am

I am so sorry.  Your loss is even rawer than mine.  What I noticed the most right after George passed was that every time I heard a noise in the house I thought he was coming into the room, or he was the one who made the noise and I would wonder what he was doing.  

Comment by TeresaNY on July 13, 2020 at 7:00am


Sorry to hear of your loss. Much like Debb said take one minute at a time. Try not to beat yourself up with the “I should have” this or “I could have”’ that. Know you are not alone in your grief journey. Find what makes you feel a tiny bit better, reading posts here, watching TV, or possibly even writing. I know in the very beginning I found it helpful to keep a journal. 

Comment by Debb on July 12, 2020 at 6:50pm
Callie I felt the same way. How could I sleep next to him and not know he was that ill or ill at all. What did I miss and how?
Comment by Callie2 on July 12, 2020 at 6:33pm

Darren, so sorry for your loss, how shocking.  When we experience something so sudden, questioning ourselves might be a common reaction.  I know I did too—I blamed myself for not recognizing his illness.  Reliving the event every day in my mind, wishing I could change something.  Some people refer to this as the “woulda, coulda, shouldas”.  We do what we think is best for them at the time— what seems reasonable.  However, we need to accept the fact that avoiding death is sometimes out of our control.

This site, along with family and friends and maybe support groups or therapy might help you. Grieving is a painful experience that requires time and a lot of patience but we do get through it.  Wishing you peace.

Comment by darren on July 12, 2020 at 1:49pm
these minutes seem so long
Comment by Debb on July 12, 2020 at 1:41pm

Sorry for you loss. July 8th was my year anniversary for my late husband. Take it one min at a time. It is very hard.

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