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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

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For the next 31 days myself and a lovely group of bereaved people are going to work through a personal pledge. Valentines Day is coming. Many people who are grieving find this holiday to be very difficult. The person that they love, to whom they would both give and receive loving acts, is now gone.

Our lives can seem more empty of both giving and receiving when a loved one has died. This can be extremely hard on us. Often the decrease of physical contact alone is enough to make us feel deprived.

That is what this pledge is about – we are going to increase the giving and receiving, first toward ourselves, knowing that we need more TLC in this time, and knowing that eventually we will pour out love towards others again.

We are pledging to love ourselves and treat ourselves with the self-same love that our departed loved one would have given us – or perhaps even better. Whatever this means to you. The love that we have shared with our departed loved ones still exists out in the universe, even if it is no longer in the corporal form that we are used to experiencing it in.

For those of you that are farther along in your bereavement, I am going to challenge you a little harder... if your bereavement is fresh or complicated, you have permission to do the reduced plan.

For the next 31 days DAILY we will do 5 things:
1. Commit to being mindful of love for yourself.
2. Manifest one act of loving kindness daily for yourself (whatever you wish it to be).
3. Deflect negative thoughts about any belief that your life lacks love.
4. Speak kind words to yourself and say three things that you are grateful for about yourself.
5. Take time to work on a personal plan for Valentines Day that will provide you with pampering and loving self-care.

Here is an example:

-- My intention today is that I will mindfully will call myself “sweetie”, as my beloved Brian often called me that.
-- My act of kindness to myself will be that I often have to talk a lot, so today I have committed to using few words, letting others figure things out and being more still. I will let the others around me know that I am doing this today so that they understand my use of few words.
-- When I find myself judging my appearance I will think of myself as “cute” and sweetie”, as my beloved Brian would refer to me that way. I am grateful for my feet (which have been called cute), my hair which is fun to play with and my eyes which are dark and interesting.
-- My plan for Valentines Day is to find an affordable but quality therapeutic massage service because I miss the physical affection that Brian always gave me, so I will continue to research this and try to make an appointment early.

If you need a reduced plan, for 31 days, will you do 2 things:
1. Commit to manifesting love for yourself.
2. Take time to work on a personal plan for Valentines Day that will provide you with pampering and loving self-care.

Each day of the 31 days I will write a short mediation on mindful love toward yourself on my blog - starting at .... You can write on your blogs or in the comments on my blog about what you are trying, how it is working and how you are planning to love yourself on Valentines Day or whatever else you want us to read.



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