I look at a picture taken for church in 2013 and I see this woman in the photo. She looks familiar; a distant memory of someone I once knew comes to mind. She is so happy, and her eyes are lit up like the beautiful stars of the heavens in an evening sky where all you can see is their brilliance, their amazing bright twinkle. How lucky that woman is, how very lucky. And I think to myself what I would give to be her and have that love that is so vibrantly shown in the smiles of that beautiful couple. How lucky were they? I wish I was still her and we were still us...
I have read if you are depressed you are living in the past, anxious if in fear of the future, and at peace if you are living in the present.
Five years ago at 0943 I lost you, my amazing hubby. At times I can say the past creeps up and depression hits me, and then anxious laughs and says you better look over here. But tonight on the 5 year mark that I was last sitting with you in laughter and wonderful conversation for the last time we enjoyed each other's company I have to say I am present.
Five years, I am finally at peace. This does not mean I don't miss you because I still want to be, desperately, that woman in the picture, but I am at peace with my life...because of you my life has been the best...I love you, I miss you, I miss me, but I am ok with the woman today because I still smile when I see your picture and get a grin when I think of you and my heart is at peace.❤️