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I keep wanting to post on Forums and Blogs. But I don't know how. My husband of 25 years of marriage unexpectedly died on January 27, 2016.He was 52.  This month,26 years ago he proposed. He  told me..we may not have a lot of money, but we will  laugh and love a lot. ..and we did. He Loved Music..we played it all of the time and when the radio wasn't on he had his i pod..or mine.  We have 4 beautiful daughters ;one is 17 the other 3 are 12 1/2 ( yes they are triplets). I am reading and reading so much that many have said, and I have so many of the same feelings as I am certain many of your have or had.. ..I got rid of his socks, nothing else , I am mad, I am tired, confused..How do I do this? Life is moving on and someday's I feel stuck. I hate FB and all of its happiness and Braggarts. I want him home. What did I do wrong , what did I miss. I didn't ask enough questions. I think he is going to call. Crud I erased his message, his voice...I want him home. Our Children have not expressed feelings to me too much. I don't know how to do this part either...I have been a mother for 17 years and all of a sudden I don't know how to talk to my children. So I will read some more and try to cope and maybe learn "how to do this" to "adult". Today ..I re - charged his I Pod, and mine plugged them in to his BOSE speaker and made a cup of tea..... the Music still plays.

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Comment by Bj on February 26, 2016 at 4:00pm

As I said in my day at the time.  My heart goes out to you & your children.  I can so relate with your feelings.  Actually tomorrow will make 5 months my brother past away and 3 days later my husband past away.  It was all like a nightmare.  It seems forever in a way & at the same time like yesterday.  I feel my heart will never be the same.  I try but it's so hard to get thru each day.   If we can keep putting one foot in front of the other I pray time will help to ease our pain.  Try very hard to make yourself "there" for your children,  I'm sure they are in so much pain too.  Maybe trying to stay focused on them will also help with your pain.  All we can do is try & do the best we can & it's not easy!  Prayers & hugs for you & your children.   

Comment by Callie2 on February 26, 2016 at 9:02am
If there were an instruction book on how to survive that might be helpful, but I think in reality, it is an individual journey. We often learn as we go what works for us. There are books, articles and a lot of well-meaning people but still in the end, it's what we decide. I had mentioned in another post about grief support-- I can only say it helped me tremendously in the early days. I had lost my parents, friends, family members and I grieved then but this was something waaayyy different. No, this so deep and gut-wrenching, it's hard to put into words. I think in group I learned a lot about all the emotions involved and how to separate them. There were quite a few people there and yet, we all pretty much described the same feelings. They kind of let you know what to expect along the way but at the same time, do not explain it in steps---we often go back and fourth for a while until things really settle down. Anyway, that may help. It's all hard but you know, we do survive. Time helps too. Probably the only thing that really does.

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