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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

on 12th April my 51 year old husband went sailing in the morning. He never came home, a policeman came to my door at 4 pm and gently told me that Paul had died, that lots of people had tried to save him, including the air ambulance personnel.

I then told my son, not as gently, as was shocked. Afterwards Sean told me that he was shocked by this, but the way I handled everything immediately afterwards made up for it.

I drove us to the hospital to see him and believe that the couple of hours we spent with him there with no one else, while waiting for the police was precious time to take in the enormity of what had happened.

He looked peaceful.

I kissed him and told him I loved him .

When the police came we formally identified Paul's body and went home.

One of my oldest friends Deborah was waiting outside our house and two others turned up soon afterwards and held us.

I am crying as I type this .

I need to stop for a while.

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Comment by maryj on September 7, 2014 at 10:13am

Seem to have done a lot since I typed the first entry,have been on holiday with an old friend,visited my parents in Eire,been working hard, making plans to sort the house out, new floors and a paint job.Another friend may move in with me for a while.

This new life is different,not what I chose or what we planned. Strange, brave new world

Comment by laurajay on May 27, 2014 at 4:09pm

maryj,  Part of the process of grieving is telling your story  in parts, as a whole , once, again, again putting in details as you think of them.  Having someone listen...not preach...just listen to what you have to say.  So tell your story when you can.  As often as you feel the need to.  Do not set limits on your story.    Do not set a grief clock.  There is none!  Just tell your story.  You will eventually come to a t ime when you will slow down your storytelling and begin to heal.  But for now  you have this safe place where people understand and care.  Peace to you.   lj

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