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    Another week closer to the four month mark.   It seems like time should be dragging by but it is going just as fast or faster that it ever has.  I asked a close relative yesterday if it was awful that I was starting to make decisions about my home that my spouse probably wouldn't have been on board for.  This afternoon, a load of crush and run is being delivered for the space in front of the new barns and parking areas that were dug out last spring.  My late husband wanted concrete or asphalt and had had some estimates done before we knew the damn cancer was back.  Bless his heart, his garage and wood-working shop had just been finished.  He never really got a chance to enjoy either of them except for hiring someone to help me move the stuff out of the Pod we had rented into the new barns.  The smaller barn is being transformed into an art studio/gallery/classroom for my students and me.

    There has been a lot of rain, particularly since his passing in November, 2015.    Mud and erosion have been worrisome.  Tuesday morning, I took the first of three of our dogs in for a dental all by myself, then I stopped by Home Depot for some pond liner and came home and constructed a dry stream bed from the adjacent downspouts causing most of the erosion problem.  After I finished and came inside to some Advil and a heating pad, I eagerly awaited the coming rain to see if the big farm tub that I placed at the end of the stream would catch the water.   The next morning, the tub was almost full of water and the stream bed I had made had not retained any of the water.    To say I was proud of what I had done is an understatement.

     As the weather warms, I am planning on working outside several days a week.  By then,  I should have this huge amount red tape paperwork caught up, taxes filed and everything filed away.  I hope never to get in this fix again.

     My beloved told me that he wanted me to "live my life".   I hope to honor him in every endeavor I undertake. 


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Comment by Phyllis on March 15, 2016 at 5:12am

I am proud of you too.  And envious for having that much energy and know-how.  Don't feel guilty.  I didn't have a chance to hear words from my husband about what he wanted me to do with my life, so I'm making it up as I go along.  I had a workman in the house two weeks after his funeral re-doing the lights in the kitchen and painting.  Maybe I felt a little bad, but being pragmatic and impatient, I didn't figure there was much need to wait. It was something that Don had talked about that never got started.   We have to do it our way, nobody else's, and know we are expected to carry on.

Comment by Bj on February 26, 2016 at 4:32pm

I admire your energy in doing what needs to be done.  I haven't been into getting things done as I should.  I hope I will get some joy back into working in my yards again.  I had a passion for our patio garden & pond area and truly loved working in my flowers & yards.  I look outside & wonder if maybe this passion with come back & I will be able to enjoy this as I once did.  I can relate to your feelings about your children & mine have help me so much to be able to carry on as well as I have.  I see you are from SC and I am as well.  I actually have cousins who live in your city.  Five Months will be coming up the 30th of this month.  I feel as you do in that time is going so fast but in another way with the pain of my loss it seems like yesterday.  One day at the time and doing the best we can is all we can do.  Sending prayers & hugs your way. 

Comment by Callie2 on February 26, 2016 at 2:39pm
Wow! You did all that? You should be proud. It does feel good when we accomplish something. Whenever things don't go well, we can and should remind ourselves of our successes. I have come to accept that life may not always be perfect but I will do my best and keep trying till I get it right. You sound like a smart lady, just don't overdo. Thank goodness for
heating pads, lol!

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