Three months yesterday.
I stayed home from work. Boss totally understood and had no issues. I have the best boss. It's been harder for me over the past few weeks than it had. I think it's that I'm finally done.
Everything has been gone through. I have two boxes that go to his family. Save for the nightmare that has been finding either an estate buyout or auction company to take the remaining things that are currently taking up 2 full rooms and my store room, I'm done. From this point on, excepting a brief moment in February to scatter his cremains, he doesn't need anything else.
Years of being "on call" 24/7. Countless bandages changed. Vocabulary expanded to regularly include words like "granulation tissue" and "maceration". I can put on a wound vac better than most home nurses. And... I'm done. There are no more boxes to sort. Nothing more to do. The last things I had to do for him are now done. From here out, it's just me.
And I think that the constant having something to do kept me going, kept me focused, and now... Now I have to learn how to live as just me. My last tasks as his partner are done. And now I'm back to just me.
Once again life circles me back to this:
We cannot know what will occur
Just make our journey worth the taking
And pray we're wiser than we were
In the beginning
Now we begin...
- "In The Beginning"
Children of Eden