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I realized today that I really suck at make decisions on my own.  I can’t just speak out “YES” or “NO” without seeking further input on a decision.  Maybe it’s because I’ve been known to be too spontaneous for my own good.  Or because I’m fearful that I’ll make the wrong decision, so at least I can fall back on the others and feel that I sought out all the information I could at the time.

As I emailed friends and family this morning about the overwhelming feelings I have about working multiple jobs, I know deep down this is a decision I need to make, but with a plan.  Not just a career decision, but a faith decision.  Trusting not only in myself, but in something higher to guide my path even if I feel I’ve made the wrong decision.  Trusting that I will be provided for.  Trusting that doors will open when the timing is right.

Trust.  Decisions.  Both things I am not so good at.

I constantly worry about being assumed lazy, inadequate, or not doing enough.  I don’t know what I need to do to prove to myself that I have never been any of the above?  How often do I need to open doors to feel overwhelmed before I see that I am doing all I can and beyond what I should?

How do you?

 

Original blog can be found at http://crazywidow.info/?p=3847

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Comment by CrazyWidow on December 22, 2011 at 11:17am

I am the same way Susan B, all over the place all the time.  Thanks for your support and encouraging me to believe in me Stumbling.

Comment by Susan B on December 2, 2011 at 5:16pm

oh boy, I could have written this...but you did! sounds so very familiar. Keith knew how to do everything--he was so reasonable. I am flighty, emotional, headstrong...sometimes going with my gut doesn't work out, but I guess that's just how life is for me. I don't see things as clearly as he did.

Comment by Stumbling (Susan) on November 30, 2011 at 8:41am

Crazy Widow the only thing I can tell you is to have a little faith.  It will all come out the way it is supossed to.  Believe in you.

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