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I have been very exhausted for the last couple of days: Jud's burial, chest inflammation, too much company and just overdoing it in general. My fibro flared up and I slept almost the entire last twenty-four hours. I would wake up every so often, and every time, I thought Jud would be there. It was so odd and so disconcerting. Each time, I had to face the shock of his death. I was glad to finally wake up and get out of bed.
Thinking of it later, I was reminded of the first several months after his death. I seemed to sleep well most nights, but every morning I would wake up to the same scenario, thinking he was there next to me and then experiencing the shock of having him gone. I realized that this was a "way of life" for a long time and this time, it was just probably a little setback from being sick and worn out.
Tonight I am hoping my sleep will be better and my arising will not be so sad and startling.