My husband, Stewart, passed away suddenly at age 52 on May 10, 2012 at 12:24 pm from an undiagnosed Pulmonary Embolism. I rushed to the hospital after receiving a frantic phone call from a neighbor saying he had been taken to the hospital after fainting at home. I actually talked to him while he was in the ambulance and he told me what room to meet him at in the hospital. That never happened. When I got there, I was put in a small room for about 20 minutes when a doctor came and told me I needed to say good-bye.
Those first minutes, hours, days, weeks and months were a blur. I realize now I suffered a traumatic episode too as well. That morning I was married and the mother of two teenage girls. As a cancer survivor, I worked part-time at a local hospital as a Technical Writer. Married for over 25 years, my husband worked as an Agriculture Journalist and often traveled in his work. That afternoon, I was a widow with two teenage girls.
The first year I remember I dreaded the 10th of every month until one month, about a year after he died, the 10th came and went without me realizing it. Today is the 10th, but just like everything I do, it's a little off. I thought it was 2 years and 6 months since he died, but I think it is actually 2 years and 7 months. I wanted to post this blog on December 10, but I think the time/day setting is wrong on this laptop, so it says December 11.
I've told people that 2 years seems like 2 seconds and 20 years, all at the same time. With the holidays approaching, I wanted to at least acknowledge that he was here, but is now gone.
I'm still taking it day by day. This was never our plan.