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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Almost two o’clock in the afternoon and still I sit in my pajamas and robe. It’s been a long time since I have written in this blog, today I am writing for myself, mostly. The weather is cold, rainey, appropriate. The hour of his death is not far away and I can’t seem to do anything but sit and wait for it to pass.

I know some people would think I am wallowing in self pity, given the horrific recent tragedies in this country. The pain and suffering of victims’ families is...I can’t stop thinking about it, it presses heavy on my heart. But I am selfish and want my husband back.

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Comment by Doug02122014 on November 9, 2017 at 3:52am
Sunfeathers, please don't beat yourself up for the way you feel. Today is one of your "BIG 3"as I like to call it(spouses birthday, wedding anniversary, and day they passed). This is something many others on here, myself included, have done too. My 1st year or so I would be wide awake every Wednesday morning at 2:05 a.m.; the time my wife took her last breath. Then on my "BIG 3" days I'd practically shut down. This thing called Grief can be all-consuming draining every last bit of energy. As far as you being selfish goes, well.... ISN'T EVERYONE ELSE ON WIDVILLE ? I am and I embrace it and wearmy selfishness as a badge of honor for the love I have for my wife.

Take today off from everthing you can and just be in the moment, reflect, process, and tomorrow will be here soon enough.

Take care.

Doug

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