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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I've been up since 1:30, and lying here till 5:30. It just occurred to me that I haven't really thought about my wife or the fact that I'm the only one in this bed throughout this whole time. This must be a good sign. I'm actually feeling quite normal. So often these times would be seen as lonely times for me. I don't know if I'm just getting used to being alone or what. I'm feeling like I can think about my wife and not get depressed about it.

I've tried to make thoughts of my wife a normal thing. If it sends me in to a fit of depression than so be it, but I want her to stay a normal part of my life. I talk about her to our children all the time and try to keep it as non-challante as possible. I don't want her forgotten out of my life, but I can't always have every thought of her crashing me to the ground in grief. I think this tactic is working for me.

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Comment by only1sue on November 10, 2014 at 7:13am

I am two years out and still have that unknown cry wake me up at night.  Maybe there are some things still to resolve about our relationship.  Usually I get up, play on the computer for a while, have a cup of tea and then go back to bed and see if I can sleep.

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