A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
I am approaching 6 months out without that dreaded feeling in the pit of my stomach and no-one is more surprised than me. 6 months is simply the passage of time since my 2nd husband chose to leave this world. I have been to hell and back over his choice and finally have Doug's suicide in a safe place in my mind. He will always be in my heart, as will be my 1st husband who died 12 years ago from cancer. I am constantly amazed at the capacity of my heart to multiply...not subtract.
My new life has begun and there are many positive steps forward both for myself and my little darlings. From some I will get the snide comments about moving on too quickly...not giving myself time to grieve...not acting like a REAL widow (whatever that is). But in all honesty I have spent the last 27 years grieving in one way or another and I'm over it!
My spirit wants to break out and live...and I intend to honour my spirit. I will rejoice at the new opportunities before me...moving forward with confidence.
Whilst I still have my youngest living at home and my eldest will be returning when we move into our new home, I have been able to enjoy (and I mean enjoy) time alone while they have been on holidays. Taking the time to do things I forgot I enjoyed doing. My solitude has given me time to think about what I want out of my life and the only conclusion I can come to is that I want to LIVE FULLY for the rest of my life. Not looking back with regret and sorrow constantly, but looking forward with a positive attitude and renewed energy.
TODAY I resigned from the job that was creating an enormous amount of stress in my life,
TODAY I found out my new house settles in a fortnight,
TODAY I spent the day with my very dear friends of 40 years as one lost her father on Saturday morning. We hugged, we laughed (yes we did!) as we realized that our 3rd friend had to look after us both as I am a widow and the other is an orphan (having lost her mother last year)...and the bible says to look after orphans and widows...but she still didn't buy us lunch!!! Oh well...lol...we won't hold it against her...life is too short.
So for now I am walking on sunshine and letting it feel good...and I truly wish this for each and every one on this journey...