This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I've been thinking about the word survivor and why it's what we are called. 

Last night I had a very scary medical drama, (I'm fine) but this morning I woke up and thought about it a little bit.  My first thought was, "Well now I've survived my first serious health scare without my sweet Jerry."  I am rocking or maybe I should say wobbling though widdahood.  I've "survived" though a plethora of minor catastrophes, okay so maybe they were just household upheavals but anyway, I survived them all despite the fact that Jerry is gone. 

I have struggled on my own, through money problems, roof issues, appliance issues, kid issues, car issues, decisions that normally take two people issues, business issues, estate issues and now health issues.   Each and every time I got through a crisis on my own I said, "I survived!"  

It hasn't been all bad of course, I triumphed when I bought a used car off Facebook and it turned out to be a really good buy/choice.  I've learned to live and prosper even on half a salary.  I calmly went about going through all of my mental notes of Jerrys advice/knowledge and have been able to chose the right person to help me take care of each and every life event that has reared up interrupting and sometimes compounding my grief.  I have single highhandedly reigned my teenagers in and have them behaving better than they were six months ago.   I've cut my power bill in half, by doing all the things I told Jerry he needed to do. :) 

As I sit here thinking about all of the things that have gone wrong and what went right I am wondering, why are we called survivors?  We should be called warriors!  

There was a woman in history called Queen Boudiccia, she was a widow but forced to become a warrior after her husbands death.  Of course this poor woman had it way worse than any of us, but still the thought has been handed down from centuries ago of the widows before us.  We are not only survivors we are warriors, we are capable and we are fierce.   Though, we may not always believe it with our whole hearts just let something come up that we need to "survive" and watch the resilience ooze out slowly and gain momentum as we journey along.   

Once we were survivors.  As we head down the road of recovery we are not merely survivors anymore.  We are warriors.  We are strong.  Thanks to Soaring Spirits International, we are united!  #widdawarriorstrong


Views: 174


You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!

Join Widowed Village

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on June 6, 2018 at 9:36am

Diva absolutely nothing is silly around here!  I had my own lawn issues as a matter of fact! LOL, I almost resorted to tying a goat on and moving the poor thing about!  So, glad your Tony already had you covered and you are right no one wants to the be perceived as the poor widda!

Just the fact, you're thinking along those lines makes you a warrior!!!!  You go girl and own it.  Be patient and gentle with yourself (for me it took awhile to understand what that meant) you are going to be up, down and sideways through this but never ever lose sight that you're also going to be widda warrior strong!  Things won't be the same, however, YOU WILL BE OKAY!

Comment by DIVA70 on June 6, 2018 at 9:26am

Thank has been a little over a month since my Tony left and it has been a roller coaster. After 47 years I still cant believe he's gone. This may seem silly but my first "hurdle" actually had to do with the lawn. I was staring out the window last week when I observed my neighbor mowing his lawn. I immediately looked at my own yard which is adjacent to his and I was astonished to see how high the grass had grown. The outside was always Tony's domain. I started to panic...what is the name of that darn lawn service played over and over in my head! I checked his box where he kept his notes and found the name of the company but no other information....after googling the name and coming up with zilch I reluctantly texted his good friend and neighbor ( who wants to be perceived as that poor weak widow) who promptly responded with the information I needed. But before I started to call the number I heard a familiar sound outside my window. It was the guys from the lawn company mowing the yard! They were following the schedule which Tony had set up for this year. Well Tony, I whispered to myself, here I go......I went outside to talk to the guys and to let them know that in the future they would be dealing directly with me. I am surviving....I hope one day I can tell you I'm a warrior too!

© 2019   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service