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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I went to the Lymphodema Clinic to get fitted with my new pressure garments, while the waist to knee garment was a good fit the stockings, knee to toe  were too long. The fitter phoned the distributor to ask why the wrong size had been supplied the answer came back : " We no longer supply the size you requested....". That same answer applies to so many different  aspects of my life for instance the  spare parts for repairing taps etc, living in an older house as  I do I can no longer get a small part I have to buy a whole assembly. I really resent this change as it is so expensive. So many things of a similar nature have changed and I feel a bit like my lifestyle has been compromised. I want my needs supplied as they used to be.

Apart from that my life is slowly improving, I have  less pain and distress more energy and control. I haven't had a fall or an incident of any kind so I believe my brain is healing well. That means I can do more. Today was my last medical appointment until February so I can plan a few days  away in October. It is good to be free to do at least some of the things I want to do. I get so many Facebook friends posting pictures of their exotic holidays that it is hard not to be envious sometimes. I know I can't travel as I had planned to because of the lymphodema but short distances should not be a problem.  I just have to budget for the holiday and plan it in times when I don't have other commitments.

Trevor and my granddaughter Alice will be here on Saturday for the first week of the Spring holidays. There will be plenty to do if the weather is fine. It is not exactly beach weather as we still have cool nights and warm days but the sea has not warmed up yet. I am hoping my daughter and daughter-in-law can bring their children down for an afternoon while Alice is here, it is important that cousins know each other. I miss my cousins who are all in England or Canada. It has given me so much pleasure to see the English cousins when I caught up with them  twice in the 90s and again in 2013 and 2015. Cousins know some of the family stories of past generations. We came to Australia in 1955 so I did not grow up with them and we met in our middle age. But we still had a lot in common.

Spring is coming and we have had some rain so there is a fair amount of blooming happening in the gardens and pot plants. I am able to bend down now if it is only for a few minutes so am weeding and fertilising. It is sad that we have rain here on the Coast and it is not falling inland where it is so badly needed. Farmers are running out of water and having to let good breeding stock go through lack of feed. As a country girl I really feel for them. Of course city folk do not understand the fuss and wonder why food prices are rising and the normal abundance of fruit and vegetables is absent but country folk understand it is no water, no crop. And unfortunately our government representatives are mostly city folk.

I just had my little next door neighbours come over to show me a nest high in a tree on our boundary with a Tawny Frogmouth, a small grey owl, sitting on a nest. I am to keep an eye on it while they are away for a week. They are excited that a wild bird has chosen their tree to build a nest in. They rarely come into my house but the kids and I talk over the front fence a lot. It is nice to have little neighbours next door and I enjoy our conversations. I know that I spend too much time alone. As a gregarious person it is hard for me to be alone the majority of the time. So any interruptions are welcome. They are a nice family to have as neighbours.

As a woman alone I often have too much time to think about life. I do try to be positive in my thinking but it is easy to slide  into that "why am I here.." thinking. I made the conscious decision to have the melanoma removed and the  aneurysm clipped to extend my life so it is up to me to find a meaning to my life. Every day I have to find a reason for the ways I spend my time. Today, after the appointment, I was picked up by a girlfriend and we went out to a pleasant spot called " The Fragrant Gardens". It was lovely to sit in the sun surrounded by the sights of beautiful gardens and enjoy a coffee. It is the little things that make life worthwhile. The universe may not supply all my needs but I can adapt to that.

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Comment by barbee on October 6, 2019 at 6:47am

Sue, you are a great example of someone who gets on with life, no matter what life throws at her.

Your statement, "Every day I have to find a reason for the ways I spend my time." is a wonderful plan.

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I know some of it has been bumpy and difficult.

You offer hope to others who are still mired in the muck! 

My husband used to say "Spring is God's way of saying 'let's try this one more time'."

Comment by only1sue on October 5, 2019 at 9:23pm

I went to church in a long skirt and nice blouse today and someone asked me if I Was going out to lunch! I think a long skirt is nice as it hides the ugly brown pressure stockings. Time to store the winter clothes and get out the pretty summery slacks and tops again for everyday wear.

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